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UConn Mami of the Week: Liv

That’s right, we got Mami’s too boi. Gentlemen, whip out your hearts for this week’s UConn Mami of the Week, Liv. She has a troubled history of popping Milk Duds and a present of downing Malbec. Catch her purging your bullshit at the yoga studio or in the kitchen whipping up steamy hors d’oeuvres. That’s French for appetizers, not a stovetop sex position, you goons.

Name: Liv
Year: Senior
Major: Psychology
Relationship status: Single… so single

Men typically send women flowers to let them know they’re thinking about them. You’d send a man…:
A nude.

Go-to pick up line?:
Is that a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them and I look HOT.

What position do you absolutely hate but do anyway because it’s “hot af”?:
When a guy says he’s gonna “blow my mind” and I end up ass up with a pillow under my hips, I’m like I don’t know where this is going but I don’t want to kill their ego so I keep going because I can’t not do it because he’s really excited to blow my mind.

What’s your craziest drunken experience?:
My 21st birthday party. It was supposed to be really classy, like we were tasting wines. And I ended up drinking the most because I’m the birthday girl. So I go upstairs, throw up on the floor and think oh god I have to clean it up. I took off all my clothes because I thought there was throw up on me but there wasn’t. I walked in the hall naked and ran into a guy and was like oops. I had no time to find shoes to throw out this throw up so I run out to the dumpster, clothed, and I run into the screen door, then run through a pile of broken glass but I thought it was hail because I was drunk. So everyone asks, “Why is there a trail of blood following you,” and I was like oh no there’s glass in my toes.

If you were a man for a day what would you do first?:
I’d go out and have a man on man experience.

Do you bite into a Kit Kat bar before breaking off the individual pieces?:
No you gotta break it in half, or as many pieces as possible then eat one piece at a time nice and slow, the way it should be.

What food tastes better than your last orgasm felt?:
Two Blaze pizzas and a box of Milk Duds.

When is it an appropriate first time to fart in front of the guy you’re dating?:
Depends on what we ate that day, you know. Like if it’s a burrito it’s happening the first date.

Describe your reaction when a man gets physically uncomfortable by the word “tampon:”
*Blank stare* …really. I mean really. Like I don’t react like that when you say nut sack.

Drink of choice?:
Straight Tito’s chased with Malbec.

What are your thoughts on Chili’s no longer offering complimentary chip baskets?:
Excuse me? Wait is this real? My reaction to that is I’ll be going to On the Border now.

Freddie quit the iCarly team because Carly still wouldn’t bang him, even after he saved her from being hit by the taco truck. He finds you and wants to start a new web show. What would you call it and what would you do?:
Freddie’s So Hot. That’s the name of the show. Every episode is just him shirtless and I smear different foods on his body, to make him feel respected.

What level of rock bottom would your life have to be at for you to become a stripper?:
My current rock bottom right now. That place in Willimantic has newbie night where you strip and if the crowd thinks you’re good then they hire you. I’m not saying I’ve done it but I’ve looked into it.

Why should people read The Black Sheep?:
Because the editor is really hot.

A note from the editor: Oh, stop.

If you’d like to be featured as Daddy or Mami of The Week, email us atUConnDaddy@theblacksheeponline.com, or DM our Twitter account pictures of your butthole, we’ll do the rest.

 

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