The lemons of life will try to teach you that you’ll only regret the chances you don’t take. But that’s only if you want lemonade. As seniors on the brink of the never-ending abyss of adulthood we only want straight tequila and hangover smoothies. Though not all regrets involve spirits, just the good ones.
Disclaimer: All answers written after the first four bullets are provided by fellow Huskies. We hope you’re all okay.
Everyone knows a round at Ted’s is all you need to start a night of regrets. Whether it’s actually going to Ted’s or not taking advantage of Ted’s, you’ve got a reason to hate yourself the next day no matter what.
UConn senior bucket list:
From the day you stepped foot into Storrs you’ve been harassed and pleaded by SUBOG to do absolutely everything on this bucket list. While some may like risking their lives skydiving or strolling Horsebarn Hill on a sled-filled day more than others, it’s the memory of doing it all that counts. Although that $30 for Oozeball could’ve been helpful in saving up for student loans right about now.
The best place to find your most regrets littered like trash is a tailgate littered with trash. Just like all those empty beer cans and lost bras filling the fields, the possibilities of regrets are endless. But if it’s any consolation, nothing you do can be worse than what goes on in the Rent Field.
It seems there’s one thing all Huskies can agree on during their time here, it’s fuck education. A degree may be the only thing that guarantees a less than mediocre life and job and 700 dollar a month studio apartment above a vandalized vape shop… but who needs all that when you can blow it off for a night that, just like your quiz tomorrow, won’t matter?
First of all, light green bullet respondent who claims they hate dogs, get out. We don’t need this kind of atrocity here. Secondly, there is simply not enough Jonathan to go around. The student to doggo ratio is vastly outnumbered and it seems only fair to have enough Jonathans to pet and envy at all times and locations on campus.
To quote a fellow stressed Husky when asked to tell a fun fact about herself in class, “I only cried 3 times this week.” Round of applause everyone because that’s the most inspiring story to be told in years. Getting through a week without considering becoming a stripper or stepping into a sleep induced coma just to take a break is a success. So give yourself a treat and put off that homework a little longer that you’re already putting off. You earned it.
College is stressful, especially when you have the “these 4 years will be the best years of your life” expectation to live up to. Don’t worry, no one’s college experience is like Blue Mountain State, so kick your feet up and let all those regretful moments pass by like a fleeting 2014 UConn riot.
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: