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5 of the Best Spots at UMass to Rethink Your Poor Life Decisions

College is a time to explore new interests, grow as a person, and orient one’s self to his or her future career choices. It’s also a time where young adults are given a new level of independence. As a result, the onus is on the student to make their own decisions and conduct themselves professionally. As can be expected, a lot of awful choices are going to be made along the way, so if you’re having an existential crisis, here are the top five places on campus to rethink your life:

5.) This bench by the tunnel to Southwest:

This is a really great bench. Perhaps it’s the sun hitting it at the exact right spot, but it seems like a little slice of heaven in a very unforgiving location. If you’re feeling bad about yourself, this is great for people watching. You’re bound to see a bike crash or a longboard wipeout if you spend enough time here. If you’re gonna sit here and question your life decisions thus far, you’re going to want to be comfortable.

4.) The tunnel between the Student Union and Blue Wall:

This is a pretty solid spot if you’re especially down in the dumps. Dimly lit, good acoustics, and the best part, no one will see you crying. Sure, you might have gotten arrested for walking out of a party shouting that you’re underage and you’ve been drinking, and yeah you may have handed the officer questioning you your fake instead of your real ID, but down here, none of that matters. Let it all out, man.

3.) The lower deck of Tobin Hall:

Not a lot of people know this place. It’s pretty secluded, as it’ll literally be only you and all the random psych majors who rip bongs down there between classes (or the random stoners who take bong rips down there at night). Honestly, it’s really just a place people go to take bong rips, and nothing makes you rethink your life quite like one of those. But maybe you wouldn’t be in this mess if you stopped getting high and watching Netflix.

2.) Roots Café at 2 a.m. when you’re hammered (allegedly):

Roots makes some great food, but it’s not like you’ll remember it. It’ll really make you ask the hard-hitting questions like “who am I?” and “how did I get here?” It’s great because you’ll really mean it this time, as you won’t actually have any idea at the time. All that matters in the moment is crushing that chicken parm sandwich. In any case, if you really need spot to reflect this is the place to do it, and if you try it enough, you might actually remember you came.

1.) The 23rd floor of the library:

Sure, going to the library is for losers, but it’s pretty quiet up here. If you thought the view from the water tower makes your problems seem small, the views from the 23rd floor make your problems seem even smaller. People look like ants from up here (but try not to think about that too much because it’s really gonna mess with your head). You could stare out the windows up here for hours, until you realize the essay you came here to write was due two hours ago, and you were too busy staring out a window.

It’s fine is you need to take some time to reflect on the all thing you fucked up this weekend, it’s just not really okay if you spend more than 10 minutes doing so. That, my friend, would just be another poor life decision.

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