Look, there’s no way to deny the changes and advances that have come through the years at the once quaint western Massachusetts school known as UMass Amherst. As society progressed, so did UMass and a lot has changed. However, a lot of UMass’ history has been left in unread books and that just isn’t right. Here are five of the biggest differences between 1863 UMass and the Zoo now.
5.) It took two and a half months to get from Sylvan to Southwest:
If you thought Sylvan was an irrelevant venue, far away from the many hotspots on campus now, then there’s no way you could fathom the travel it took back at UMass’ erection. It was a trip that took many weeks of careful planning and required a keen eye for detail in order to pull off. With none of the Pioneer Valley busses cruising around, the streets were filled with aimless Sylvillians simply trying to find a way to get to their computer science classes on time.
4.) The Campus Pond was called Campus Puddle:
Now that everyone in the United States has finally come together to declare global warming as real, students can look back at its effects on the UMass campus landscape. Due to glacial melting, the water level at UMass has drastically risen in the past 150+ years. What once started out as a beloved little puddle, has now grown to the immense cesspool that endearingly sits in the middle of UMass’ campus.
3.) Orchard Hill was a peyote paradise:
Orchard Hill and its stonerish antics have long drawn the ire of the many straight-edged students in other residential areas, but it could’ve been worse. Before the Hill was inhabited by the many THC poisoned fanatics that are there now, it was actually filled with large amounts of Peyote cacti. Perhaps this goes to explain the “dope vibes” that currently contaminate the area. Next time you want to judge one of the pot fiends rolling up a j on the lawless hill, just be happy that they aren’t about to trip out on peyote.
2.) The Library was 63 floors tall:
Yeah, yeah the UMass library is still really tall. Everyone knows it’s the tallest on the continental U.S. But did you know that it was once much taller? At 63 floors high, the old W.E.B DuBois towered over the paltry 27 floors that currently command the campus’ attention. Air travel wasn’t a thing back then so Henry F. French had full control to make the library as tall as he wanted. However, as the Wright brothers started dabbling around with propellers and such, the height of the library became pretty problematic.
1.) UMass Dining Was #2
It’s hard to imagine a world where UMass dining didn’t reign supreme over all other schools but it was real and it was terrible. Don’t take your artisan sushi connoisseurs for granted. Seriously.
1863 my have been a glory year for UMass, ya know with being founded and all, but fuck that if they didn’t have #1 dining they weren’t doing it right.
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