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5 Questions We Have For People Who Go to Hobart Just for the Instagram

UMass day drinks (while slowly being phased out), are still a great time. Nobody can deny this. Nobody. In addition to being a great time, they’re also the perfect opportunity for one to show off how cool they are via social media. People show up to the day drinks in hoards just to take pictures. Then they’ll post them on Instagram so everybody knows they were at a day drink, and yeah, they drank during the day. It’s super cool. But sometimes it’s taken too far. Here are five questions we have for you and your front camera:

5.) How many followers do you have on Instagram?:
Do you have like, 1k? Or like 2k? Or like 500? Are you Instagram famous or Instagram dirt? No, we don’t want to know your handle that’s absurd. Is there an amount of followers that normalizes your ridiculous behavior? Why are you like this?

4.) How much of your daily validation comes from Instagram likes?:
Many scholars question the use of Instagram and other social media platform “likes” as a means of validation and building self-confidence. They wonder the correlation between confidence and followers and ask young adults how having a hot follower like your pic at the day drink makes you feel. Have you ever considered this, girl shamelessly posing at the day drink?

3.) Are you going to edit that picture?:
Today’s Instagram is fraught with digital editing tools. Many people, in search of popularity, edit their pictures using apps like FaceTune and BodySmasherSmashCity. Do you do this? Do you feel you are presenting a false identity to the world, or are you going for #nofilter? Lmk please.

2.) How do you decide who gets to hold your drink?:
You can’t take a picture and hold your drink at the same time. That’s just absurd. But how do you determine who’s the most responsible? Who won’t spill it all over themselves, or take 11 sips? That’s a lot of pressure on you just to get a picture with good lighting.

1.) Where do you get off?:
Seriously now, where the hell do you get off. Who do you think you are? Why do you show up to the day drink and have your friends take oodles of photos of you in order to perfectly showcase how chill and cool you are on social media? There are easier ways to do this, like posting pictures of yourself smoking weed, duh.

Well? We’re waiting.

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