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5 Ways to Finally Get into Theta Chi If Your Ratio is Off

Ah, Theta Chi, the holy grail of UMass frats. The fence, the balcony, the dance floor. Exquisite. All of it. However, it’s not always easy to get in and many people, specifically of the male variety, can attest to the trials and tribulations that occur at that fateful fence. Through lots of effort, there are ways to game the system and make your way in. Here they are:

5.) Hop the fence:
This is probably the riskiest way to try anything but if you’re feeling especially intoxicated, it could be worth it. Yes, it’s likely you will get caught and healthily reprimanded but if not, you’re home free. The fence –while tall– is not completely unmountable. So shotgun some brews, get your friends to slap you in the face, and scale that shit.

4.) Dress like a girl:
This only works if you’re a guy, well, because… ratio. Wearing a skirt may not be the ideal way of going about things (and it could certainly lead to a few issues), but the reward is grand. Not only will this get you in, it could help out your other friends, well, because… ratio. Ratio rules this school so put on a crop top and get out there.

3.) Yell out random frat boy names:
I know Steven! I know Brad! I know uh, Steven! Yelling out that you know someone really has never failed, and it could work here. Frats are obligated to let in everyone that knows someone in their house, so just try your luck. Hey, maybe you’ll drunkenly find out Chad’s actually really cool, then you can run the frat together, graduate, and live a happy life with your new frat friends.

2.) Stalk one of the brothers:
This takes a lot of dexterity and stealth, but can really help. Seek out that one guy wearing Theta’s letters in your 200 person econ class, and follow him around. Study him and follow him right into the house. Yeah, now you’re in the house at 2 p.m. on a Tuesday but at least you’re in. But, you could wait until Friday and then reap the benefits.

1.) Pretend to be a brother from the past:
You were a legend. You used to run Theta. You once single-handedly out drank the whole frat. You also are a liar who bought a Theta Chi sweatshirt for 23$ on eBay, but no one needs to know that. We’re pretty sure frats have to let in all past brothers so just make up some stories, wear some letters, and you’re home free. Party on!

Gone are the days of not getting into parties. Use these helpful cheats wisely.

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