The University of Massachusetts Amherst is a beautiful, sprawling campus tucked in the middle of the Pioneer Valley. Basically, it’s in the middle of nowhere, unless you’re really into agriculture, in which case it’s definitely somewhere. Being that the campus is so big, it’s quite likely that you could miss some really cool buildings with cool stuff like power outlets and water fountains with a bottle filler. Neat! Anyway, here are the top five buildings that you’re never going to go to, but are actually pretty cool.
6.) The Integrated Sciences Building:
This one’s pretty cool. It’s clean, there are cool chandeliers and stuff if you’re into that, and there’s even a miniature Starbucks in the lobby! Unfortunately, you can only get into the building if you’re wearing thick-rimmed glasses and sleep for less than 6 hours a night. The seats are really comfortable, and if you die of boredom in class, your laptop will at least be charged. And by laptop, we mean JUUL. It’s right next to Worcester, which is unfortunately right next to Northeast. The seats in the auditorium classroom go really high up, so it’s a great place to sleep off a hangover on a Friday morning and not have your buzzkill professor blow up your spot.
5.) Whitmore Administration Building:
Legend has it that the building was constructed around an old UFO crash site, hence the weird open square structure. No one’s really sure what purpose Whitmore serves, but apparently they have really good sandwiches in there? Seems like an odd place to get a sandwich, but then again, so is a weird, brightly-colored van that drives around campus (and people seem really into those). It’s pretty much just a big DMV. Imagine getting a sandwich at the DMV! Now that’s wild.
4.) Boyden Gymnasium:
Unless you’re an intramural hardo, chances are you haven’t been here. Believe it or not, there are at least 10 basketball courts on the third floor (yet there’s always a five-game wait at the Rec), and there’s actually a pretty big pool on the second floor that believe it or not is open to students. This building sounds legitimately fake, but it’s very real.
3.) The library:
Lol, nerds. Go read some books here, nerds.
2.) The eleventh floor of the Campus Center:
Did you know the school is hiding a really fancy reception area on the top floor of the building most people assume is just Blue Wall? It’s actually really nice up there, but there aren’t a lot of reasons for students to be up there. Ironic, because in theory, your tuition is paying for this shit.
1.) Stockbridge School of Agriculture:
The craziest part about a university that identifies by its business school is that UMass actually has the Harvard of agriculture schools. Not a joke. Seriously, it’s ranked number 3 in America and number in 8 in the world for agriculture universities. It’s actually mind-blowing that there aren’t larger numbers of students walking around repping “Stockbridge” apparel, or even just more publicity about this fact. The building itself is kind of pimped out; there’s a classy auditorium in there, and it sports a timeless, old-school architecture to it. The school as a whole is the one college on campus with actual architectural continuity. Yet for whatever reason, the school just continues to linger in obscurity amongst the actual student body.
Good thing you read this, because now you know! Not that it really matters.
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