Everyone knows that each living area at UMass is its own niche. It’s common, albeit stereotypical, knowledge that Southwest is for the jocks while Central is for the hipsters. Although this banal way of thinking tends to exclude certain individuals, more often than not these generalizations happen to be pretty spot-on. To test this theory, we’ve scrupulously correlated each housing area and its residents with a specific meme we think they might enjoy. Here’s what we came up with:
1.) Southwest– Caveman Spongebob:
This meme has had a presence on social media ever since it started trending months ago. Southwest is not only the most popular living area on campus, but also contains a disproportionate amount of people who, critically speaking, would receive a 10 on the basic scale. Just like when you roll up to the neighborhood and you’re wondering why everyone looks the same.
2.) Central– Dat Boi:
When this meme first emerged from the depths of Tumblr we were perplexed as to why everybody thought it was hilarious. Let’s face it, a 3-D green frog riding on a unicycle isn’t something you see every day. The only feasible explanation was that the original poster of the meme was either high off their ass, or tripping hard on some form of hallucinogen. Honestly, it was probably the later. Since most Central residents can usually be found in one of those two states, it’s safe to assume that they welcomed the Dat Boi meme with open arms and an oh shit waddup!
3.) Orchard Hill– Pepe the Frog:
Pepe the Frog has stood the test of time as a universally loved meme. Likewise, O’Hill has been faithfully serving the UMass residents for years as a viable housing option. Whether they got a shitty lottery number, or had to switch dorms because of a terrible roommate, the Hill is always there when you need it most. O’Hill, you truly are a rare Pepe to us.
4.) Northeast/Honors College– But That’s None of My Business:
Is there any worse feeling than when you’re arguing with a super-smart person and halfway through you realize you’re wrong, but it’s too late? *Kermit sips tea*. Kermit has been aiding those with sharp wits and petty attitudes for years, so it should come as no surprise that we chose to pair him with the two housing areas which have the highest populace of, to put it bluntly, huge fucking nerds.
5.) North Apartments – Upgrade Key:
Just like comparing pictures of yourself from puberty to the present day can be an incredibly uplifting experience, moving into the North Apartments from the other plebeian housing areas is one of the biggest blessings a UMass student can be graced with. With their spacious living rooms and regulated AC, you almost feel bad thinking about the Southwest kids sweating their tits off in the middle of a hot September day. Almost, that is.
6.) Sylvan – Rage Comics:
Unlike Pepe, Rage Comics have not been a meme to age gracefully. Comparably, Sylvan is a place that, one must avoid at all costs as a housing option. We’re not even sure who lives up there to be honest, but we assume it’s pasty white trolls who spend their evenings surfing 4chan. U mad bro?
So remember, no matter what housing option you get stuck with next year, you’ll always have some glorious memes to fall back on and make you feel better. After all, who needs the comfort of an asbestos-free, well-ventilated dorm room when you have memes to look at?