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UMass Junior In Line at Green Fields Thankful She Packed A Snack


Entering Blue Wall and heading towards Green Fields Friday morning, UMass Junior, Kara Stewart, was relieved to discover she had remembered to pack a snack when she saw the how long the line was.

“Everyone must’ve gotten out of class early today, the crowds are bigger than I have ever seen before,” Stewart said while scanning the dining area for the shortest lines. “If I get Deli Delish, I’ll probably be waiting here all day just to have them make me the wrong sandwich.

The single-file line for Green Fields was “wicked long,” stretching out of Blue Wall, past Harvest Market, and down the Campus Center Escalator.

“I finished my Goldfish, I’m halfway done with my bag of Pretzel Chips, and now this gross couple in front of me won’t stop making out,” Stewart proclaimed with an eye roll, “I’m getting hangry, I’ve already been waiting 25 minutes and we’ve barely moved passed People’s Organic Coffee!”

Stewart’s parents, Donna and Richard, received an urgent call from their daughter while she was in line for her salad.

“Kara said she’s been in line for almost an hour and made it clear that she probably wouldn’t make it out of the Green Fields line alive,” Mrs. Stewart claimed concernedly, “and now she’s vowing to become an entrepreneur, just like that Kardashian lady, if she ever gets her salad.”

“My parents are so annoying; they told me to eat a snack, drink some water, and lay down,” Kara added. “It’s like, that’s why I’m in this stupid line, I’m just trying to get some fucking lettuce and go home!”

Following an hour and twenty-five minute wait, Stewart finally reached the Green Fields counter to place her lunch order.

“She seems really out of it, she’s just holding a bunch of empty bags of snacks and gently swaying,” observed Lenny Brown, a Green Fields employee. “She hasn’t even told me her order yet and, I’m not sure what she means by it, but she keeps mumbling ‘free the straws and lids.’”  

Stewart ordered a “buffalo chicken salad,” and Mr. Brown promptly pointed her to a sign on the counter stating Green Fields was “out of romaine lettuce, ranch dressing, and crispy chicken.”

“I don’t even care at this point, I’m legit starving, just put any vegetables you have in a bowl and let me eat it,” Stewart pleaded.

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