Self-proclaimed as the most attractive UNC campus (looking hard at you, Chapel Hill nerds), we’d go so far as to say the beauty matches the brains of our students and successful alumni. To think, we’ve sweat in the same rooms in the Quad, gone through the same awkward freshman to super senior transition, and thrown up in the same community bathrooms as some of these folks! Since you’ll never be willing to give money to that alumni organization, we’ve done the research so you can sit back and enjoy the gold rush of our Niner alumni.
7.) Seth Avett:
If you’re into shitty folk music and claiming the pure ~North Carolinian~ band before everyone else does, this member of the Avett Brothers could be your #1 (but he’ll always be our #7). There’s something about a man with a guitar and a beard we just can’t resist… and it’s because this hipster-folk look is crushed by the sea of Chubbies and Comfort Colors shirts on our campus now. Le sigh. Overall, we’d still be willing to drop out now and move to NoDa to be hip with you, Seth.
6.) Robert Niblock:
Niblock, we’d love to take a look at your… hardware—because you’re the former president and current chairman and CEO of Lowes! You might not recognize him, but if you’re an engineering or computer science major, you’ve probably been forced to participate on some collaboration project sponsored by Lowes so they can take your ideas for free and you get can get a line on your resume. #NinerNationgivesback
5.) Chelsea Cooley:
A competitor of Miss Teen USA, Miss USA, and Miss Universe pageants, the 2005 Miss USA isn’t a UNCC alumni. Cooley did attend UNCC, though unfortunately, she decided to finish her degree at The Art Institute of Charlotte. But we’re positive that her time strutting up and down stairs on campus really prepped her calves for the runway, so we’re claiming this queen of the Queen city. Once a Niner, always a Niner, right? Right?!
4.) Toussaint C. Romain:
He entered the spotlight two weeks ago during the Keith Scott riots in uptown, becoming a national icon and leader of Charlotte’s peaceful protest. This public defender will put himself between protesters and police without a scratch on his gorgeous face. Something about an intelligent and kind citizen, though. He can lead us straight to the bedroom.
3.) Chris Lane:
Former UNCC Baseball player and recently turned country singer with a #1 hit on the Country Airplay Billboard, there’s not even have a joke for this gorgeous being. Honestly, we’re just feeling a little betrayed and left out that he graduated before our time.
Note after stalking his bio: he has a twin. Double the hotness. We can overlook the fact he chose country music to pursue, because Lane is a real home-run.
2.) Heather Childers:
There’s nothing we enjoy more than a woman that can work her way around Twitter and 24-hour news. A co-anchor of Fox and Friends, Childers is a hot conservative fantasy (really a local Ann Coulter, if you have that exotic taste). Her dirty talk is whispering into your ear Obama conspiracies of illegitimate birth certificates and how he tried to end Chelsea Clinton’s life.
1.) Clay Aiken:
Actor, activist, wannabe North Carolina politician, but most known for being the runner up of American Idol season 2, Clay Aiken is our claim to fame. Those long lashes brushing against high cheekbones, the piercing and beady eyes, that voice… this androgynous powerhouse of a human can hold the #1 UNCC alumni spot forever.
It’s a great legacy to uphold when your only remarkably famous alumni is Clay Aiken. TAKE THAT, ECU.
It’s homecoming season, so get ready for some old dudes to buy you some beer.