When walking or driving around campus, sometimes you just see stuff that makes you think “What the fuckk?”, “Who the fuck?” and “Why the fuck?” You might drop the f-bomb a million times while traveling around campus, but we’ve compiled the top eight situations on campus you’re just going to have to accept so you can save that f-bomb for when you really need it.
8.) Those dudes who play soccer all Sunday on the front fields:
Honestly, who are these guys? They park their cars in that little carpool lane by the Dickinson Gate and play soccer all day. We get that exercise is important, but the nosy gal in all of us really wants to know why they don’t just like go to a park, or we don’t know, recreational fields perhaps.
7.) The (assumed) steam coming out of the ground by Smith:
Construction dudes have been working on stopping the steam coming out of a manhole on the ground this past week, but for the past three years, steam has been shooting out of those holes on the coldest of mornings and warmest of afternoons. Where is that steam coming from? Is there a nuclear reactor under Smith? A secret CIA lab? Since the area is usually blocked off, let’s just assume the worst.
6.) Dealing with people who smell awful:
Although we’re all supposed to be adults and understand that SHOWERING AND GENERAL HYGIENE IS IMPORTANT, it is hard to ignore the amount of smelly guys and gals that always decide to sit next to you in class. Did your mom not teach you to use soap? Did someone in the community bathrooms scar you so bad you’ve just stopped showering? We get that walking around campus can work up a sweat, but this is more than your 15 minutes of exercise between class changes.
5.) Crown Poops:
Ok, why does Crown give all diners the worst, sloppiest, stinkiest shits literally 30 minutes after consumption? Do they put laxatives in the pizza? Prunes in the soda machine? Even the people who can bear pounds of Taco Bell can’t survive a meal from Crown.
4.) Obnoxious carpet in the library:
Who decided the carpet in the library was appropriate? Obviously, the people in charge did not consider how distracting the green and white plaid-ish pattern is to students who are trying to get work done. They should have stuck to the basic gray carpet that was in there a few years ago. No one cares about carpet color, UNCC.
3.) Aggressive Chick Fil A employees:
Okay listen, we get that serving hundreds of potentially rude students isn’t particularly fun, but what is your problem when people are just trying to get a refill of lemonade? There is absolutely no need to give attitude to a gentleman patiently waiting for you to pay attention to him! And don’t even get us started on how pissy they get when you miss them call your number, even though it is loud as fuck in Prospector and it’s hard as hell to hear them shout TWO-FOUR-FIVE over the three hundred people waiting for their chicken nuggets.
2.) Maintenance guys who just drive right through crowds in their big trucks:
Maybe it’s just us, but why do maintenance guys think it is okay to drive their huge pickup trucks through the crowd during class changes? Is that not a liability? Can you not wait fifteen minutes for people to get into class to take up the whole sidewalk?
1.) Smelly bathrooms:
There is nothing in the worse in the world than walking into a bathroom expecting some peace on the loo and it smelling like Satan’s underpants. Who is out there trying make the bathrooms smell like urine 24-7? There has never been a time in Fretwell history that the ground floor bathroom doesn’t smell like a dirty diaper. UNCC can afford to paste obnoxious wall paper in Cone and the SAC, but somehow they cannot afford to put some damn air freshener in some of the bathrooms. The Union bathrooms are the best to use because you aren’t choking on excrement stench.
Weird stuff goes on at UNCC all the time, from crown poops to being plowed over by a 2000 pound truck, but like grief, the final stage of your annoyance is acceptance. Don’t question why random soccer players are on the front field of the school’s lawn, being the first thing visitors see. Don’t throw up on the psychedelic carpet in Atkins. Accept it. It’s all part of the ~Niner~ experience.