“Hotline Bling,” the hit song by Drake, was initially released back in July of this year. However, since the release of the music video in October the internet has been abuzz, and for good reason. In this video, Drake debuts a few legendary dance moves the likes of which have never been attempted before by anyone.
You might be thinking, “But I’m a terrible dancer, I have no rhythm or sense of movement. How can I ever impress all my friends with the Hotline Bling?”
No worries! The heart of the dance is having zero ability. By implementing these moves into our daily morning routine, we here at The Black Sheep have finally perfected the techniques used by Drake. We chose a UNCC engineer to master the choreography, just to show you that ANYONE can slay the Hotline Bling.
What you’ll need:
– One turtleneck
– The 5 bomb-ass choreography steps below
5.) Get Started:
Start off your morning by swaying your arms at your sides, like you’re trying to slowly crawl your way up out of a hole or, more realistically, the confines of your comfortable bed for that 8 a.m. lecture. It doesn’t really matter if you’re on beat in the beginning, because the beat will eventually conform to your rhythm.
Once the beat drops, that’s when things really get moving. When you finally get out of bed, start stepping in place and moving your hips a bit. Swing your arms like you’re trying to swat away tiny goblins that want your expensive Moncler jacket. Continue this for a moment, and throw in some weird hand motions to really sell the move and wake yourself up for the day.
4.) Act the Part:
Drake has a lot going on in his life. Fame and money brings a whole myriad of troubles to a person’s life and in this video he’s trying to fight against that. Regardless of how your current financial or campus-celebrity status is, you need to harness these feelings while you dance. Drake shakes his head a lot, as well as makes various motions that look like he’s trying to push something to the ground. This is Drake’s attempt at keeping down the haters and his way of staying above it all.
Now, you must do the same. You also want to randomly at times put your hand up and turn your face as though someone with really rank breath just tried to ask you the answer for #5 on your test and you just don’t have time to deal with that. You can watch yourself practice this in the mirror as you prep up that pretty face of yours.
3.) Master the Minor Movements:
Throughout the video, Drake makes many key movements that you need to be aware of if you really want to master this dance. At times he motions as though he’s either confused and needs help with his homework or he’s wondering if you’ll call him later.
At this point, we get the call that class is cancelled. Once again — a little confused, in need of help, half-angry, half-excited, but oh so thankful.
2.) Master More, uh, Minor Movements:
Other times, he shuffles about like he’s trying to avoid stepping on ant hills while making sure he picks all the pretty flowers in the area.
You don’t want to jinx whatever UNCC gods allowed your professor to cancel class. This same motion can be used as you triumphantly make your way back to your room. Go you!
1.) The Grand Finale:
Some of these moves might seem ridiculous or even spontaneous, but we can assure you that each movement Drake makes is planned and executed with the precision a ninja grandmaster might use to cut the wings off a fly and there’s one more key motion that you need to know before you go out into the world and show off your moves. While it’s not exceptionally difficult, it is without a doubt the most important motion in the whole dance number, and without it one is able to distinguish a simple Drake fan from a true professional.
There are many things you can keep in mind to help you master the move. Am I laying down landmines for enemy forces to stand on? Am I throwing Frisbees directly into the dirt because ultimate Frisbee is dumb? Am I setting a tiny dinner table for my tiny guests for my tiny dinner party later this evening? Whatever your motivation, it is absolutely paramount that you get this move down, for it truly makes or breaks the entire dance performance. We introduce this finale as we go back to bed for the rest of the day because — wow — the Hotline Bling dance is pretty exhausting.
Once you have all these moves down, practice them on campus — as soon as your nap is done, of course. You need to gauge a crowd of your peers’ reactions to really know if you’ve got the Hotline Bling all down or not. Get out there and show them your swag!