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Belk Tower Scheduled to Come Down, Along With Our Morals


By this time, you probably have been made aware of the impending demolition of the Belk Tower over the winter holidays (unless you never check your UNCC email; in which case, surprise! Merry Christmas!). Let’s talk about the logistics of this: Chancellor Dubois seems pretty straightforward. They’re concerned about safety of the students (read: they don’t want to get their asses sued off should anything happen) and since repairs extend beyond 1 million, a fence will be put in place until its final execution.


If there’s on thing we can agree on, it’s that this campus is slowly becoming more construction site than school. From Light Rail construction by North Deck, one-lane traffic through Mary Alexander’s road repairs, and to a straight up scaffolding set up next to the Fretwell stairs, it’s very clear that these blue-collar boys aren’t fucking around anymore. However, the Belk Tower annihilation affects real lives; we should at least acknowledge the negative environmental impact to come.


Much wildlife has, over the years, taken residence in and around this tower. Poor, helpless Preacher Gary — have we allowed him to leave our hearts so soon, so carelessly? Wherever will he and his family of bibles go now that his home is being leveled? How will we know when we’re sinning on our way to class? Environmental experts speculate that he’ll take to preaching to the geese, as they are known to be very accustomed to being around shit.


Despite the loss of the tower though, we should at least be fortunate that we are being offered the divine privilege of being able to purchase the remains. You’d think we’d be surprised at this, but honestly, we wouldn’t put it past UNCC to try and sell students pieces of concrete. They can’t find a private donor or alumni to cover repair costs, but they surely can make money off of taking the tower down. Either way, we sure can’t wait to get our ambiguous piece of concrete that may or may not be a part of the Belk Tower.


So let’s pretend everything’s ok for a minute and that we’ll actually get a say as to what will go in this supposed Belk Plaza. As for The Black Sheep, we would go for a look that doesn’t seem like our school is compensating for something. But if the slow pace of construction everywhere else is any indication, most of us will have probably already have graduated by the time they finish it.

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