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The Ultimate Stoner’s Map of UNCC

 

The 20th of April is coming up, which for normal people is a Wednesday, for Trump supporters it’s Hitler’s birthday, and for stoners is the holiest of holidays. Whether or not you partake in such activities it’s always good to be aware of your surroundings, so let’s explore the ultimate stoner’s map of UNCC:

 

stoner map

 

 

Halls:
Honestly, it doesn’t really matter that it’s 4/20, the smell of ganja permeates the area behind the Student Union at all times. If you live in any of the halls, just disregard this article. You’re probably already high as fuck anyway.

 

High-rises:
Regardless of what your stupid RA Michael says you’re still probably going to crack the window in your dorm room and light a blunt or two. And since you’re already in your dorm, might as well crack open a few beers too, right? And we’re sure once that smell drifts down the hall (because everyone WILL smell it) a few fellow stoners will emerge from their caves in an attempt to bum weed off of you or share some of their awful dope they bought from some guy outside of Taco Bell. Eventually, your “quiet” smoking session will become a full blown party and inevitably that dumbass Michael will call campus security on you.

 

Campus:
We mean, it still is a weekday. Class is still in session. And at this point in the semester, you probably can’t afford another absence, can you? But it’s alright, just take a rip off your bong and grab your backpack. Who says you can’t go to class baked? It’s just one day, right? All you gotta do is sit there and not look too inconspicuous. Pull out your notebook and pencil and just chill. But not too much, or you’ll fall asleep. Just try to act natural… Oh god, your professor definitely knows, doesn’t he? Alright, it’s cool, he’s not saying anything, just act like your taking notes… Shit, did you forget eye drops? Do you smell? He’s staring, isn’t he? Everyone in class knows you’re stoned out of your mind. Fuck it, let’s get out of here.

 

Student Union:
If you can muster up the energy to walk to the Union, you’ll find yourself at the heart of a bountiful wonderland. Wendy’s, Bojangles, Crown Commons… There are endless meal possibilities at your fingertips. Just remember to bring your wallet before you leave.

 

Botanical Gardens:
Don’t you just love nature? Getting high surrounded by plants from all over the world is a beautiful sensation. You feel connected with your surroundings, connected to the very Earth itself. Life is singing and you’re finally part of the melody. Just avoid those pesky gardeners who might try to kick you out and feel the good vibes

 

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