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The 5 Worst of the Worst On Campus Jobs at UNCC

 

At this point in your life, you’ve probably had to take some crappy jobs in your day — jobs that made you think getting to college would take you out of — but wait! You haven’t experienced the worst the world has to offer until you’ve worked an on-campus job. Prepare to have your faith in humanity obliterated as we recount the absolute worst of the worst of UNC Charlotte’s on-campus employment.

 

5.) Student Health Center Receptionist:

There’s only one thing worse than getting sick: having to put up with sick people’s bullshit. It’s like regular bullshit except the person you’re serving is not in the mood to deal with… well anything really. This mutual desire to not want to put up with each other usually results in nothing getting accomplished, with both you and the customer coming out of that interaction in a bad mood. The one upside might be watching awkward students try sneak out the free condoms. Amateurs.

 

4.) Wendy’s (Student Union):

Wendy’s isn’t the worst fast food joint around, but this particular establishment has a special charm that makes it especially shitty. You know how there’s always that annoyed woman calling out all the orders, growing increasingly agitated as these deaf idiots can’t hear her belting out their orders at the top of her lungs? Try having to work with that for hours on end and tell me you’re not having a string of numeric nightmares.

 

3.) Cone Candy Shop:

The university probably thought that by putting a small snack vender directly in front of the entrance of Cone would have been great for business. But what it’s truly good for is making awkward eye contact with every other person who walks through the front door. You know nobody’s gonna buy anything there, so you eventually just read a book or contemplate 1000 ways to metaphorically commit suicide as you cope through some asshole banging on the piano for hours. You soon come to realize that your real job is being an over-glorified map of Cone, since the numbering of the building is all jacked up and no one ever knows where they’re going.

 

2.) IT Support:

Because every classroom with a podium contains a crappy Dell desktop that can relay messages to you, professors need make little effort to call in and ask about something that one of the hundreds of students in class easily could have answered. It also doesn’t help that intercom has the clarity of a McDonald’s drive-thru speaker, which is made increasingly frustrating by all the professors with incoherent, heavy accents. More than likely, you’ll have to haul your ass down to wherever they are just to plug something in. And don’t forget the joys of students getting to reset students’ passwords when they forget it every other day, and always working on holidays.

 

1.) Parking Services:

Imagine the DMV, but more clinically depressed and probably more loathsome of their own existence. And who could blame you? When working at a job like this, a pleasant customer is nothing short of a rarity. More than likely, you’re not going to get any people in the door who are satisfied with their parking experience. Much like the DMV, people only go there when in a bad mood from knowing they have to go there. You’ll become the epitome of someone’s hate when you ticket them for their shitty park job, and probably be cursed at as you walk through campus since you have to wear the all-knowing bright ass orange shirt.

 

It’s truly a pleasure to work here when the entire student body is against you; UNCC is known country-wide for rebelling against parking, like when we made John Oliver’s show for one student paying their $110 ticket in pennies. Anarchyyyyy!

 

These, hands down, are the worst campus jobs you could ever hope to receive. At this point you have to ask yourself if the mental trauma is really worth the minimum wage. The moral of the story is to look into a job before deciding that it’s probably not the worst thing ever, and that at the end of the day, money is money if you can afford some shitty beer to get through the week. 

 

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