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7 Questions We Have for the Dick Hogging the Pinball Machine at Silverball

Silverball is the newest hotspot downtown Columbia. Drinks and arcade games are what you’ll find there and it’s just like heaven. You can get drunk as fuck and feel like a kid at the same time! Pretty rad. It’s all fun and games until there’s one asshole who stands at the pinball machine all the time e v e r y time though. The Black Sheep staff has some questions for that guy to make him feel bad about himself and maybe get his dumbass to go away.

7). You must have a lot of free time huh?:
If you have so much free time why don’t you scurry on to the next game? Give someone else a chance to play. No exams to take? No girls to flirt with? No drinks to suck on? Come on dude, the bars in CoMo close at 1 a.m.

6). Do you have a pride issue?:
Clearly, your pride is long gone…

5). Are you even drunk?:
Just because the pinball is free doesn’t mean you can waltz in here anytime you want. It’s an arcade BAR. Leave the pinball machine and get a drink, it’s hella rude to go into an establishment like that and not get a drink.

4). You HAVE to be a virgin, right?:
Dude. Some hot ass girls could be around, you could be making moves. But instead, you’re here you’re playing with balls. Have you ever even seen boobs? The only thing you’ve seen that resembles them is the fucking pinballs. Grow up!

3). Don’t you have a job to get to?:
Every day you are in there playing pinball like you have nothing better to do; don’t you have a career or at least a dead-end job? Or are you just mooching off of free pinball for life? You could literally get a job at an arcade if you love pinball that much.

2). How far do you really think playing pinball will get you?:
There’s no such thing as a professional pinball player, so you better rethink your life bud. Life’s not all about pinball. Put on your big boy pants and go out and actually experience shit. You’re probably friendless because you spend so much time there anyway.

1). Why do you feel the need to be a dick?:
Seriously. Other people want to play pinball too, you aren’t the only one around. It’s like you have a fetish for pinball machines. If you want to play so bad, get a job. Save some money. And go buy yourself one. God damn.

Hopefully, by now he feels like shit and will leave the pinball machine alone. If he’s a grade-A dick though, then he will probably still be there. Every damn day. At that point just punch him. Pinball is a sacred game and he is not the only one who can enjoy the wonders of playing it.

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