Every state has its own language, but Iowa really takes the cake. Since it’s a college town, that leaves a lot of room for some sexual phrases that don’t actually mean what you think. So, here are the top 7 secret Iowan phrases that aren’t supposed to be sexual, but Illinoisans definitely take that way:
7.) Rub the rocks. It’s good luck:
For those who are familiar with the Iowa campus, the brain rock is considered one of the staple things to touch. So, if an Iowan talks about rubbing that rock for good luck before an exam, it’s not a big deal. For the passing Illinoisan… I’m sure they think that guy must be one unlucky son of a bitch.
6.) Just shove shit in Marcos and eat:
Iowans know and love the Marcos grilled cheese stand because you can crumble up a bag of doritos and have it melted into your food. When your friend tells you to “shove shit in and eat,” they’re definitely not talking about what taking human waste and forcing it into a dude named Marcos.
5.) Push it in, he won’t mind:
For any Iowa student who has had those times when their professor wasn’t at their office hours, it obviously means that you’re supposed to be pushing your final paper underneath their door. What were you out of staters thinking?!
4.) It’s cornhole bro! You need to put that corn in that hole!:
It’s not tailgating for an Iowa football game without cornhole. It’s not weird when two bros are talking about putting some corn in the hole, but for Illinois students, it can definitely be taken the wrong way.
3.) Union fucked me, man:
If you don’t know that Union is a bar, this one can sound super strange. Illinois visitors might be thinking that Iowans just really have bad luck with marriage. Out-of-staters might have a better chance avoiding Union and heading to Brothers.
2.) Why is it when I leave Brothers I’m always sticky?:
For Illinoisans, this one just sounds like incest. But for a true Iowan, they know that Brothers is a bar and it always has a sticky ass floor. The gross substance is probably from a mixture of spilled long islands, but the out of staters have something completely different in mind.
1.) It’s so big and the tip’s so gold:
They’re talking about the Old Cap, you dumb shit. You know, because it’s huge and the tip of it is gold. Illinoisans who take this the wrong way are really stretching it, but it’s college. Everything has a sexual innuendo at Iowa.
The most innocent phrase could be taken down a completely different road by students who hear only what they want to. While Illinois is considered as one of the “Midwest nice” states, it doesn’t mean that their minds aren’t just as far down in the gutter as Iowans.