All throughout the school year, high school seniors tour the campus of VCU with the hopes of not only attending the university, but also be considered “fuckable” by the powers that be who control the quota of sexy and ugly at colleges. By the looks of some of the esteemed notable alumni who have graced the campus, hotness knows absolutely no bounds at VCU. The Black Sheep has chosen some of the sexiest VCU alumni who’d you definitely want to take with you downtown to Cha’s Cha’s or Society on a packed Friday night.
7.) Patch Adams:
We mean, look at that fine ass mustache the man is rocking. Noted clown and physician Patch Adams perfected the meticulous art of the creep-stache 40 years before hipsters turned it into fetish. This man’s mustache looks like an erratic polygraph test reading. This man is a solid VCU 7, and a 9 everywhere else.
6.) Arpad Vaas:
How can one resist a man who proudly boasts about the size of his, umm, favorite hot dogs. Yeah, we’ll leave it at hot dogs. Noted forensic anthropologist Arpad Vaas is a solid VCU 6, an everywhere else 8, and condom sized magnum.
5.) Debbie Matenopoulos:
This one here is a baddie. And a woman is always ten times sexier when she makes a point of having her mouth gaped wide open like an idiot when her picture is being taken. Debbie here has a ton of experience of making sure her mouth never shuts the as she was one of the original woman to appear on the ABC classic, The View.
4.) Christopher Poole:
How can the man that created never ending indigestion problems for the internet be considered anything but a sex God. 4Chan creator Christopher Poole may be a scrawny, skinny dweeby seaweed version of a man, but when the only person that can play you in a movie is clearly Jesse Eisenberg, clearly you must have some electromagnetic sex appeal.
3.) Jay Pharoah:
If the above picture is any indicator, former Saturday Night Live cast member Jay Pharoah certainly knows how to make his face act as the “safe word” when the BDSM dominatrix starts applying to much pressure to his balls. Also, Jay is such a great impressionist he could probably do a great impression of a sexy person even if he wasn’t good looking.
2.) Mame Adjei:
The former America’s Next Top Model contestant is super, super hot, but also looks like a very sweet girl. She kind of reminds of that nice girl who curves guys by writing apology letters in Old Fashioned fancy English font or some other fancy ass font. She looks like she only takes shits twice a year–once on New Years for fresh starts, and the next time on Labor Day since she doesn’t have to wear white anymore.
1.) Boris Kodjoe:
For the love of God, keep this super good looking dude away from all of us lovely Black Sheep writers cause he makes all look like runny stools standing next to him. In fact, The Black Sheep writers are officially petitioning the courts for a restraining order against Boris Kodjoe. If he approaches, we’ll all turn to ashes instantaneously.
Cheers to the Sexiest VCU Alumni, a list we’re sure they were all dying to one day be on.