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5 Best Ways to Seduce a Stranger in the Compass

Everyone knows that the Compass on VCU’s campus is the end-all-be-all place for the moderately sane kids to hang out. But, did you know there are certain things you can be doing to attract a fellow Compass weirdo? In this day and age, it can be so hard to meet new people with the same interests as you. The following are the best ways to seduce a stranger in your journey through the Compass. 

5.) Have a dog:
At VCU, seeing a dog will naturally make anything ten times better. Sometimes, you’ll come across the rare Compass pup, and think, “This would be the best tool to seduce that fellow Ram I’ve been crushing on.” Now, money is tight as a college student, so it’s ideal to grab the first dog you see on the way to the Compass and pretend it’s yours. Better yet, even a squirrel or raccoon might pass for some sort of unique breed, but just cross your fingers your remembered to get your rabies shot (although foaming at the mouth is a surefire way to garner attention from that special someone). 

4.) Become a stair person:
We’ve all noticed them. They sit there, lingering, waiting: the stair people. You must become a stair person in order to seduce that cute person. If you sit on the steps outside of Cabell and just stare directly at them, they are bound to start thinking about you. If they don’t come over and talk to you, stare harder. Maybe start adding in some face twitches and double winks. That’ll surely draw them in.

3.) Start screaming about voting:
Anyone who has ever been to the Compass knows that you’ll get asked if you’re registered to vote about 20 or so times. In order to catch that cool mysterious stranger’s attention, one thing you should do is run up to them and start spewing out random political ideas. That’s real attractive. Are they going to look disgusted? Sure! But that means that they’re at least listening to what you are saying, which means you’ve snagged an attentive partner.

2.) Bring a sign!:
Some of the people who wander among the Compass hold completely meaningful signs. In order to grab the attention of a stranger, you can hold a sign simply reading, “Ayy lmao” or “I have hundreds of live snakes!” Hold it up real high for everyone to see. That handsome Compass dweller will come along and tell you to take it down. Another successful and seductive interaction.

1.) Hand out religious items:
If you really want to come off as put together and someone who values morals, you’ll seduce that special someone by handing them various religious items. The more pushy you are the better. Throw a cross at them and scream, “Hey! You’ll get into to heaven if you date me!” Works every time!

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