The night is dark and full of terrors, especially when that night involves classes, pregames, and Uptown karaoke. In fact, the only fake thing about a night out at VCU are the IDs getting used. Sometimes you get lost in the moment, lose track of time, or just don’t remember what happened, and you wish that there was some sort of timeline to accurate depict what happened. Problem solved.
Make it known to everyone in Cabell that you really don’t want to go to your 7 – 9:40 class by sighing incredibly loud and stating over and over again in an aggravated voice that you don’t want to go for an entire hour leading up to your class.
Realize that class is still on for this evening because you didn’t receive any emails, except for one from a Nigerian prince with an investment opportunity.
Text your friends, asking them what time everyone is going to start to pregame. Once they tell you a time, you then email your professor stating that you have a doctor’s appointment at 7:30 (nice, reasonable appointment time by the way, real believable, job well done) during your 7 – 9:40 class and that you will be absent. This is your third absence and your overall grade will be penalized, but at least you’ll be on time to the pregame.
On your way home from ABC, stop by 7-11 for a couple of Monterey Jack taquitos. Those taquitos are your dinner.
FaceTime your friends and tell them you’re coming over to help justify you skipping class.
Pull up to your friends’ house, to find that no one else is ready and everyone is playing “one last game” of Fortnite.
You’re now playing Fortnite at your friend’s house by yourself, realizing that you realllllly should’ve just made that walk to Snead and gone to class.
You decide to dive into that bottle of New Amsterdam to help you ignore the fact that your overall grade is down due to the fact that you skipped for what seems like no reason now.
You all arrive over an hour late to the pregame, but lucky for you, so does everyone else.
You arrive at Sullivan’s to find that the majority of people went to Starlite first.
The person in front of you gets their I.D. snapped in half. You didn’t think he looked like he was from Rhode Island.
You’re in, you’ve finish your beer, and contemplate getting another one but then remember that that drink is also the price of a meal…
Some girl with a sash, a crown, and a friend group louder than the VCU siren tests starts yelling about its her day and how she’s finally 21. Hasn’t she done this before…
Seems like everyone is finally at Sullivan’s, so you get up to say hey to people you haven’t seen there since the previous week. You try to push your way through the crowd outside to find that it’s too crowded to even walk a menial five feet. You then turn around to go sit back in your seat on the wall outside, but, like a Liam Neeson movie, it’s taken.
You come to the conclusion that you’d be happier lying in bed and watching the Jersey Shore Family Reunion.
You end your night as the place you couldn’t be happier at than at a time like this…Christian’s Pizza.
You finally get your two slices of pepperoni for $5 and couldn’t be happier with the fact that you now didn’t buy a second beer at Sullivan’s.
You walk into your apartment and immediately take off your pants and get comfortable. After that, you put on some Hulu, but before you even select a show or episode, finish all of your Christian’s and decide it’s time to go to sleep. No regrets.
“Ding” – You wake up to a “wyd” text, but you are so content in your bed that you decide maybe next Tuesday…
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