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5 Things At Cabell That Totally F***ed You Up Forever

There are a lot of places on campus that haunt your dreams: finding bugs in your food at Shafer, getting harassed by Mormons in Monroe Park, avoiding construction projects at all costs. But there are some things at Cabell that most likely fucked you up forever and will continue to haunt your dreams until you leave Richmond. 

5.) Continuous fire alarms:
Picture this: You’re almost done with that super important research paper that counts as your final. You feel on top of the world, like nothing could go wrong. Just then, the piercing noise of the fire alarm sounds off throughout Cabell, your hand jumps and you accidentally delete the entire paper and simultaneously shut down the computer. Guess it would be ideal to evacuate the building by throwing yourself down the stairs, right?

4.) Private show on the fourth floor:
What better way to get completely scarred than by listening to two fellow students get it on in the private study rooms. If you’re real lucky, you’ll even get a little show because the rooms are just a tad see-through. Maybe you can take notes on technique to try and impress your significant other, or, better yet, bring them to Cabell and just copy what those totally normal people did. Obviously a study area full of college kids is more ideal than a bed.

3.) The third floor nerd herd:
You know what we’re talking about: that weird group of scrawny dudes hanging out in a corner of the third floor playing World of Warcraft.  There’s nothing like imagining what it would be like to hear someone who’s spent a grand total of six minutes in the sunlight his whole life sexually grunt right behind you. That is, unless you’re in Cabell! 

2.) Miscellaneous Richmond folks:
It’s nice that Cabell allows everyone who’s chill inside during the day, until an amalgamation of Richmond’s strangest start taking over and wandering about. It’s one thing to ask for money outside the library, but inside this is your space. The overwhelming champ is the guy who holds the sign reading, “Will flirt with women for money.” Who wouldn’t want to be asked for money when you’re bank account is in the negatives? That’ll fuck you up for sure.

1.) Bed bugs:
Who doesn’t love a little extra excitement in their life? Now you can be totally freaked out that VCU’s library will give you some little bug buddies. The most recent fiasco that comes from Cabell is the lovely outbreak of bedbugs. You might as well chance it and sit on the couches just to see if you’ll pick any up. Who knows? Maybe you and that cute guy from your psych class can bond over how many bedbugs ended up in your pants.

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