What we thought was going to be a leisurely stroll around VCU on a day where we finally have good weather quickly turned into a line of questioning of what’s going on in RVA. We saw some shit that left us 1.) scared 2.) worried and 3.) wondering how much weirder RVA can actually get. Let’s break it down.
5.) Burned (?) trash can:
This shining beacon of everything that has been and will be Richmond seems almost commonplace at this point. While signs of the ever-encroaching apocalypse rarely seem to phase VCU students anymore, the remnants of this trash can may be raising a few questions. What happened here? Was there a fire? Is this art? Are Molotov cocktails in right now? More importantly, are we missing out on Molotov cocktails?
4.) Green puddle:
Every step taken on VCU’s campus leads you to a possible biohazard. While used needles and unidentified fecal matter are a given in this city, there are a few things to be said about a mysterious green puddle. Of all of the puddles to stumble into, this supernatural monstrosity sitting comfortably on West Grace is definitely the worst one. Start touching it and grow some extra fingers! Who’s gonna check you??? Other than the other-worldly being that resurrects itself from this puddle each noon and night, there’s no reason not to get to splashing.
3.) Missed connection:
Nothing is better than some missed connections. RVA forever exists as the embodiment of Craigslist in its earliest form, and this flyer is one that fits right into the strangely popular Island Dyes tapestry of the city. This ad is sure to have left every afo adjacent girl in the city shooketh to the core. If this were a criminal sketch, VCU Police would have to shut down the entire university. Do we currently know of any better way to market to cool teens without roasting them outright?
2.) Car with lots of duct tape:
This looks like every VCU student trying to keep it together as the semester comes to an end that is as excruciating as it is chaotic. If you’ve ever wanted to physically manifest the concept of denial and drive it around, this would be the way to do it. If you’re wondering how this could have happened, so are we. We’re also wondering what hipster thief is riding their bike around with someone’s entire right headlight.
Mom? Where is mom? It’s hard to say anymore when you’re stuck on this campus. With only the company of the occasional tumbleweed thrown into the street by an AFO kid from who’s originally from Midwest and won’t let you forget it, we’re all wondering where the fuck our mom is, and this sign literally leaves us questioning when she’s going to finally pick us up.
Know anyone at one of these schools?
UNC-Wilmington –$100 BOUNTY
University of Arizona — $300 BOUNTY!
Texas A&M Corpus Christi — $100 bounty!
Auburn — $100 bounty!
Penn State — $100 bounty!
Indiana — $100 bounty!
SUNY Oswego — $100 bounty!
Refer a friend for a marketing job, get $$$$ if they’re hired!
DM our twitter and we’ll take it from there!