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How to Make Four Loko Cake

What happens when you’re craving a delicious sponge cake but you also want to get as drunk as a high schooler in their friend’s girlfriend’s basement because no parents are home? Take a tres leches cake recipe and turn it into a Four Loko cake! A… Quatros Locos Cake! Here’s how to make Four Loko cake:

-Flour, sugar, eggs
-Whole milk Four Loko
-Sweetened condensed milk Four Loko
-Evaporated milk Four Loko
-Four Loko

Basically, if you want to know how to make Four Loko cake, just follow your tres leches cake recipe but instead of three different types of milk, use four types of crazy. Fruit Punch, Watermelon, Peach and Coco Loko are all good flavors to include in your mixing bowl during this process.Then again, are any Four Loko flavors good flavors?

After you’ve baked and frosted your cake, you’re ready to go cray cray bananas on it. We had amtateur cake testers try the finished product in order to help us understand its effects on human brains and bowels. Here’s what they had to say about the experience:

Tester comments:

-“It looks like vomit in a semi-solidified form.”
-“It smells like rotten milk and the color pink.”
-“I really don’t want to eat this cake.”
-“This is how alcoholism starts.”
-“I’m going to throw up immediately.”

They raved on and on about the cake’s heavenly taste, texture and aroma. Then again, it could have just been the Loko inside of them talking.

Cake testers thought this boozy dessert would be perfect to bring to special events such as middle school dances, baby showers, or ritual suicides. But no matter the occasion, your friends will smash the Four Loko cake with their plastic forks and sing praise to its unique combination of delightfulness and repulsiveness.

If you’re a daredevil at heart and a wiz in the kitchen, you might just be loco enough to try this recipe at home. For the rest of you idiots, just stick to sippin’ Four Loko from the can like the true dirt-ass you are.

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