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7 Haikus Guaranteed To Get You Into The Pants of Your Hokie Crush

Roses are red, violets are blue.
Don’t have a valentine yet? We got you.

Most people buy chocolate or a stuffed bear,
but nothing is more beautiful than a poem you can share.

It’s better than diamonds, it’s classy and true,
and it’s something well-respected (unlike those Hoos).

So grab a pen and paper, and a Doba bowl or two,
and learn how to win your Hokie crush with a haiku.



“You are like Turner,
Way too busy all the time.
Give me a chance pls.”

If you’re desperate and will do almost anything for Hokie affection, you’ll be able to use this haiku to your advantage.



“I am the Drillfield,
Lovers walk all over me.
Save my self-esteem.”

There are many who give up on love, but this is for those who aren’t swearing it off until their thirties just yet.


“Let’s eat some dinner,
Do you like that Chicken Parm?
I’ll buy you some, bae.”

Classic dinner dates can never go wrong, and this will be no exception.


“When I look at you,
It’s like hiking at Cascades.
I can’t catch my breath.”

If you’re a Hokie who’s out of shape but has a heart of gold, this may be the one for you.


“Nothing can compare,
To how happy you make me.
Except D2 brunch.”

This is perfect for those who find fulfillment through what they eat (and let’s be honest—most of us do).


“You should leave your boo,
They’re like Blacksburg Transit’s app.

We’re sure you know a Hokie that would benefit from you whisking them away this Valentine’s Day.


“Wanna go to TOTS?
Don’t order lots of drinks though,
Because I am broke.”

Being a college student is rough, and your honesty is always appreciated.

The 14th is getting closer, and you’re running out of time, so hurry up and find yourself a funny valentine. There are presents to be bought, and reservations to be made, so to keep the pressure off of you, we just had to come in aid. Thank us later fellow Hokie, tell us if this works for you! But if it doesn’t, don’t blame us, there’s only so much we can do.

Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame:

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