With summer coming to an end it’s time to start mentally preparing ourselves for the year ahead. While our livers have been putting in overtime all summer long, our brains may not be prepared for classes to start after this three-month vacation. If you’re not too hungover from drinking too many rails at TOTs, play this drinking game to ease your transition and keep pretending that “nothing important ever happens during syllabus week.”
What you’ll need:
One (or five) bottles discretely filled with your favorite cheap liquor. This game also requires that you go to class, which may be a lot to ask.
Number of players:
You and maybe a few classmates if you’re fortunate enough. Best of luck to you engineers trying to find a drinking buddy.
Level of Intoxication:
You won’t remember your classes, but everyone in your classes will definitely remember you.
Drink Once If:
– You see a freshman with a map. Proceed to make fun of them while you pretend you know where your own classes are.
– You’re late to class because every building looks the same, and you have no idea where Smythe is.
– You see a freshman with their Hokie P on a lanyard around their neck. Poor, poor children.
– You see a freshman and immediately know they’re a freshman.
– A professor mispronounces your name. Thanks Mom and Dad (slash foreign professor).
– You realize the amount of money you’re going to have to drop on textbooks is going to seriously cut into your Big Al’s fund.
– You realize you probably just won’t buy the textbooks.
Drink Twice If:
– An athlete is late to class.
– An athlete leaves class early.
– You get a “first day of class! (:” Snapchat.
– Someone in your class is dressed up.
– All the cadets sit together in the front row.
– You get out of class early. Spend the extra time making a new drink or chugging an extra beer.
– Someone near you has stamps from last night on their hands. Take extra sips if the stamps rubbed off on their face, then invite them to join you.
Finish your drink if:
– Your professor tells you they have a “no electronics” policy. Let out a loud sigh before slamming your drink.
– Anyone asks questions about the syllabus. Mentally photograph their face so you can be sure to not ask for their company in your next drinking game.
– A professor tries to teach a lesson. Keep drinking until you find someone actually taking notes to befriend.
– You’re too drunk to make it anywhere after your first class. Try again tomorrow!
If you have to ride the BT to or from campus, chug the entirety or the trip to make it through. Bonus points if you don’t spill while the new drivers are putting your life in danger.
If any of your professors mention a strict attendance policy, stand up, shotgun a beer, and walk out because you’ll obviously be dropping that class.