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We Graded Virginia Tech Bathrooms Based On Selfie Capabilities

Spring break is over, which means Instagram will no longer be littered with short shorts wedged up tanned butt cheeks. But don’t let the fact that your vacay has gone away be the reason why your Insta feed goes from envy to dingy. No one is prepared to jump back into reality, in fact we’d rather die. But to save ourselves and our Instagram feeds from the terrible quality pictures of our everyday lives on campus, The Black Sheep has snuffed out some of the most popular bathrooms on campus and graded them on their selfie capabilities. Behold, the reason why the millennial generation is probably regarded as the worst:

Shanks 3rd Floor:

Lighting: Brighter than your future, harsher than your overbearing parents’ judgment of you majoring in Appalachian Studies.
Mirror Quality: Very smol.
Background Aesthetic: The epitome of a public bathroom.
Grade: D
Final Thoughts: A nice, lightly trafficked bathroom; ideal location if you’re looking to poop in peace, not an ideal location if you’re looking to become insta-famous.

Major William’s Handicapped Bathroom:

Lighting: Prone to turning your skin into a sickly green color.
Mirror Quality: A minute detail in a vast bathroom setting.
Background Aesthetic: The presence of a yellow clothed chair and a stack of magazines makes for a picturesque bathroom setting; also family friendly.
Grade: C
Final Thoughts: What happens in this private escape should probably stay in this private escape.


McBryde 2nd Floor:

Lighting: Perfect for bringing out every flaw on your chin.
Mirror Quality: Surprisingly very clean, which we could not say the same for the rest of the bathroom.
Background Aesthetic: If you have the personality of a clipboard and are a fan of the plain oatmeal and #2 Ticonderoga pencil aesthetic, this spot is perfect for you!
Grade: F
Final Thoughts: McBryde sucks major eggs.

Turner 3rd Floor:

Lighting: It’s lit.
Mirror Quality: Not ideal for we-fies, but great for selfies.
Background Aesthetic: Sleek, black stall doors make a great simplistic background for your #ootd.
Grade: B
Final Thoughts: Shout out to urinals.

Whittemore Hall:

Lighting: Seductively lit.
Mirror Quality: Voluptuous, rotund, long, tan and handsome.
Background Aesthetic: Its classy hues of slate grey, light slate grey and dark slate grey are great for promoting your minimalist lifestyle.
Grade: A
Final Thoughts: Quality countertops.

Now get out there and take some bathroom selfies because whatever your professor is saying is not more important than keeping that Insta game strong.


Need something to help pregame for St. Paddy’s? Try our Vine Power Hour:

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