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Justin Fuente: Named CILF of the Year

 

When “BAEmer” decided to retire, there was a new void in our Hokie hearts. Sure, we were starting to worry he was going to crumble into dust mid-game, then be made into Hokie Stone, but still, we weren’t ready to say bye to Beamer Ball. However, then Fuente came to playthe ACC/coach of the year, if you haven’t heard.

 

He’s basically Coach Taylor. The man has clear eyes, a full heart, and a can’t lose mentality (9-3 record, woot-woot). We’d also like to point out that Fuente happens to be muy caliente as well. That being said, we would like to honor him with the CILF (coach I’d like to fuck) award of the year.

 

Not only does the man have the eyes of a Golden Retriever, but also some deep dimples that deserve a shout out. He especially pulls off the George Clooney gray hair (see young Fuente here), as well as maroon, much better than blue–if we say so ourselves. We also can’t help notice the size of his hands. You know what they say about big hands–better for gripping footballs ayeee.

 

Plus, his calm and cool demeanor makes us swoon. Instead of getting all hot and bothered, like Clemson’s coach Yabo Dabo or whatever his name is—he remains calm and classy like a true Hokie. What a man, what a man, what a man. Whatta mighty good man, ya’ll. 

 

And if that wasn’t enough, he’s a devoted family man.

 

Needless to say, we’re all aboard/ ready to ride the Fuente sleigh.

 

 

 

Ever wonder why your b-hole stings after a night of boozing? Here’s your definitive guide to D.A.D.S.

 

 

 
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