Love Hokie football but absolutely despise human interaction? Lucky for you, Virginia Tech Athletics has matched up with IMG and Sports Lab to create an app that will “enhance the already dynamic experience at Lane Stadium,” by telling you everything you need to know about the game without lifting your head from your smart phone to actually watch the game. Over 60,000 people in the stadium, and with this app you won’t have to talk to a single one of them ever again.
The HokiesXtra Gameday app has play-by-play coverage, live scoring updates, and on-demand video that, as the apps FAQ page makes very clear, rarely ever work. The app also offers a real-time Instagram feed, so you will never have to see what the fans around you look like without a Valencia filter and a brightness adjustment.
You can also find Lane Stadium’s rules and regulations on the app, so don’t download it if you plan on saying that you had no idea you weren’t allowed to hide excessive amounts of Fireball airplane bottles in your boots when you’re arrested after stumbling down the north end zone bleachers.
If Bucky Hodges doing the shmoney dance after another touchdown isn’t entertaining enough for you, you can read a five page history of Lane Stadium and Worsham Field that includes an in depth explanation of every row of seats ever added to the stadium. Who wants to watch the Hokies finally play some good football when you can be reading about the donation of the 16 flags outside of the stadium?
Future updates will send you push notifications when it’s time to clap, cheer, and leave the stadium. The creators also hope to include a feature that makes the sounds of jangling keys, so you never have to stand up and take your keys out of your pocket for third-down play ever again!
You’re probably wondering, “What’s the difference between this new app and the new app that was released in 2011?” Basically nothing, except for the fact that you can no longer get it on your Blackberry. Still the same old app you know nothing about with the same amount of users, reviews and rating… zero!
While the creators of the app seem to have everything covered, it seems they forgot about the fact that no one’s phones ever work in the stadium. In the off chance that your phone does have service for a minute, though, you can use it to read player bios instead of trying to find your blacked out friend that probably passed out in a bathroom stall again. Who cares if your roommate Katie is getting kicked out of Lane when the Gameday App just informed you that Michael Brewer has a younger sister named Katie??
So, you can download this app to “further enhance the passion and excitement of game day,” as Chad Cleveland at IMG College said. Or, you can enhance game day like the rest of us by shotgunning a few more beers at your tailgate and getting ready to start jumping.