Valentine’s Day is quite upon us dear Hokies,
And in lieu we’ve written a little poem, low-key.
For our dear President Sands,
President of all the Hokie lands,
And for his loving Hokies to read.
So we invite you to peruse these beautiful words
Now mind you, not written by one of those engineering nerds:
Roses are red, turkeys do bellow,
Parking really sucks, but you’re a hella cool fellow.
You with your glasses and your various patterned ties
There’s no mistaking, you’re one dapper guy.
Though sometimes we joke and sometimes we dawdle,
You really do look like a Banana Republic model.
Your hair and your suits stay fresh to the bone,
And it all fits so well with the Hokie Stone.
Planning for expansion, you’re cooped up in Burruss
And when we see you on the Drillfield, the snapchats go berserkus.
Still, there has yet to be a greater president known,
Than you who’s mastered the art with two phones.
You’re timeless, you’re classic, you’re accepting to all.
Just ask the six-thousand freshmen you accepted last fall.
And when we heard the words of your first State of the University Address,
Not a single Hokie’s excitement could be suppressed.
New buildings! New classrooms! New roadways galore!
New students! New sidewalks! New housing for the corps!
We bet if you hand the construction workers just a few beers,
Virginia Tech could take over Radford in the next couple years.
But all we’re really missing is a couple hundred more Starbucks.
And now, Mr. President, one question for you: Is it true, you really do hate ducks?
You, Timothy Sands, are so very good at president-ing around,
And if you ask us, you’re the best in town!
So here’s to you, the one true VT Sandsman.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you and the Mrs.