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What if Riverdale were Set in Blacksburg?

Riverdale really is drama in its purest form. With season two out on Netflix, there’s no reason not to sink your teeth into all the juicy mysteries that the quiet town of Riverdale hides. After being completely consumed by the lives of these sexy teens, we couldn’t help but wonder what Riverdale would be like if it were set in Blacksburg. They may not be direct parallels, but with a little imagination these five comparisons can help make Blacksburg a little spicier.

5.) Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe and Waffle House:
The gang seems to always find themselves sharing a milkshake in this retro diner, which isn’t unlike our very own Waffle House on Main. There are, however, a few differences. Pop’s at night has a relaxing vibe with the neon aesthetic, and everyone always talks in whispers at their booths. On the other hand, Waffle House at night consists of loud, drunken folk demanding peanut butter waffles and hash browns under harsh fluorescent lights. Either way, each restaurant has that charm where everyone can feel safe and accepted despite a rogue murderer or failed health inspection.

4.) Southside Serpents and the fraternities:
Every town has that gang of ruffians and degenerates that seem almost cult-like. In Riverdale, this gang is the Southside Serpents. In Blacksburg, the fraternities take that spot. Whenever some form of foul debauchery goes down, fingers always point to these two groups first. Whether these judgements are justified or not, one thing is certain: both can be shady and unapproachable.

3.) The Lodges and the freshmen:
The Lodges, like the freshmen, are new to town, and they both think that they’re hot shit. Freshmen can often be spotted on a Friday night roaming the streets of Oak Lane all dressed up and looking for a party to get into. They have this false sense of confidence and think the town is theirs, but they just look silly. It’s okay, we were all there. As an unrelated side note, Veronica is the hottest girl in the show.

2.) Family Rivalries and Kroger:
The Coopers and the Blossoms have a deep-seated hatred for each other. The same fire and brimstone can only be seen in a heated argument over Ghetto Kroger and Gucci Kroger. Everyone in Blacksburg has his or her preference, but you’re wrong if you prefer Ghetto Kroger.

1.) Archie, Ms. Grundy, and Center Street:
Archie had this ongoing affair with his music teacher, Ms. Grundy, which was immoral, illegal, and downright disgusting. Those exact words can be used to describe what happens on Center Street during Saturdays in the fall, but we do it anyway. In both cases, our parents would be shocked and disappointed.

Even though we can never be as attractive, athletic, or socially capable as every character in Riverdale, we can at least try to relate their lives to our own. Is that sad? Probably. Will we continue to do it? Definitely.

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