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Student Abandons Car in 81 Traffic, Heelys back to Tech

With Thanksgiving over, Hokies have gobbled down their fair share of turkey and have made the great trek back to Tech. Our reports indicate that 81 traffic was at an all time high on the way back from turkey day and Hokies were less than impressed with the roads.

“Usually, the four hour drive from Nova to Tech is pretty chill,” says senior Matthew Oldock, who was initially attracted to Virginia Tech for their phenomenal engineering program, but was discouraged by traffic on 81. “I channel my inner Ludacris and bump to ‘Move Bitch.’ But this year no one was getting the memo and kept going 70 in the left lane.”

However, Oldock became innovative. When the stress of the traffic began to take a toll on him, he remembered he had packed his Heelys from his youth. Oldock was very grateful and decided to abandon his car in order to Heely the rest of the way to Tech.

“Yeah, last time I got kicked out of Kroger for using my Heelys. But, on 81 I’m unstoppable. Just the open roads and me” Oldock said.

Well you heard it here first Hokies, bring a pair of Heelys for your next excursion back to the ‘Burg. If you don’t own any Heelys, we guess a hover board would suffice. Just no bikes; you don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard.


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