The greatest lie of all time, second only to “I have read and agree to the terms and conditions,” is the title “Spring Semester.” When people think of spring, most of the time they envision flowers blooming and birds chirping and freshly green grass, not a brutal snowpocalypse. Spring semester at Virginia Tech is not a time of frolicking on the soft grass of the Drillfield. No. It’s rallying up enough motivation to leave the warmth of your bed, sacrifice your face and extremities to the relentless winter air, and risk having a heat stroke upon entering an academic building wearing snow pants, Bean boots, three shirts, a scarf, five jackets, a sleeping bag, and twelve hats. Here are the top six best places to hibernate on campus:
6.) Duck Pond Island:
The key to a successful hibernation is privacy. The small island in the center of the Duck Pond is one of the most private places on campus because…well, you can’t really get to it. However, find a sturdy path of solid ice that won’t let you go plummeting in to the chemicals and duck feces below and you’ll have yourself a quality hibernation.
5.) Squires’ Practice Rooms:
Ever been lulled to sleep by the sweet sound of music majors practicing their instruments? It’s magical. It is like Mozart himself wrote a lullaby just for you to hibernate to because your snoring really enhances the harmonies so well.
4.) West AJ Ball Pit:
Not only will these colorful balls conform to your body like a Tempurpedic mattress for the utmost comfort during your winter slumber, but all those kinks and cramps you’ve racked up during fall semester will be completely rolled out by May. You’ll feel like a whole new person.
3.) Lane Stadium Tunnel:
Sleeping in the tunnel is as close to feeling like a bear hibernating in a cave as you’ll get here on campus. With it being off-season, there will be total privacy, and the sound of your breathing reverberating off the walls of the tunnel will gently lull you to sleep.
2.) Table at Turner:
When you awake from your long sleep, the first thing you’re going to need is food, so you might as well claim a table now so it’ll be all yours come May. We’d suggest the tall tables under the stairs by Jamba Juice. They’re one size fits all. Plus, they fill up quickly so it’s best to claim a spot now. Just bring a sleeping bag and pillow, and fall asleep to the natural aroma of pulverized fruits.
1.) Torg Bridge:
Talk about getting an amazing sleep when silence is mandatory. Torg Bridge is dimly lit, has comfortable couches, and is completely silent, save for the occasional sound of a pencil on paper, which could easily serve as a white noise for that added bit comfort.
It’s exhausting! But just because we’re back at school doesn’t mean we can’t find time to hunker down and take a quick nap or better yet, hibernate until May. During this freezing winter in our beloved Blacksburg, take some time (or the entire time) to rest in one of these wonderful sleeping locations. Who even needs a bed when you’ve got a secluded island and a wooden table? Rest easy, Hokies.
Are you wishing you changed your mind about location yet?