Still wearing last night’s clothes? Still have bedhead, morning breath, and smell like ball sweat and TOTS? We’ve all been there – it’s just a matter of getting home with whatever sliver of pride you have left. The Black Sheep has mapped out a series of convenient routes you can take to make your walk of shame bearable.
This is for all you freshman whose only friends are other freshman. Every dorm on this route is approximately a 30 second to 1 minute walk from each other, so it’s a quick and easy route to take if you want to make it back to your dorm relatively unnoticed.
To all you East Campbell chicks: tired of the fire alarms going off in Barringer and Miles and having to awkwardly escape from your boyfriend’s dorm unnoticed by the RA’s? Then this is the route for you! It’s the fastest route from these all male dorms back to your estrogen-filled home.
This route is for all your folks that wake up still feelin’ that Tequila Sunrise from the night before. You’re a bit disoriented and are just trying to play it cool. If you circle the Drillfield enough times, you’ll eventually join a tour group and the Hokie Ambassador will help you find your way home.
A bit of a long one, but if you need to get back to your dorm from UCB, this is the route to take. Stay the night in Sturbridge? Pass out while eating your Panda Express? Take this scenic route back to the residential side of campus. The only people on West Campus are students frantically rushing to catch their bus, so you’ll go unnoticed.
Another long one, but this is what you get if you try to party in Pheasant and have no ride lined up for the night. This is the perfect route for anyone trying to make it from any apartment complex in the Toms Creek/Progress Street area. An alternative is to walk through the residential side, but you risk crossing paths with route 1 and 2.
If you’re still somehow at TOTS the morning after a night out, walk right across the street to the Alumni Mall bus stop, hop on a bus, and go home. If you try to walk, you’ll end up joining your fellow walker-of-shame on route 3.
Why the hell do you need a walk of shame route from Vet Med, you sick animal.