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Tragedy: Freshman Falls Victim To Sorority Table Outside Turner, Donates Kidney To Avoid Awkward Conversation

Ambulances were seen outside of Turner on Wednesday morning after one freshman was foolish enough to get into a conversation with sorority girls running a philanthropy table.

The student, who requested to remain anonymous, said, “All that I wanted to do was go to Brueggers and get a bagel. Instead I ended up losing a kidney.”

Reports indicate that the student tried to rush by the table but was intercepted by a senior member of the sorority. She requested he donate a kidney, and in an effort to not be awkward, the student agreed.

The surgery to remove the kidney allegedly took place on a bench nearby. The student lost a lot of blood, but is expected to make a full recovery.

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