After the upset against Ohio St. on Saturday, Virginia Tech students thought they were the happiest people on the planet. Almost, we tell them. Almost. There was another group of people aimlessly roaming the residence halls that we forgot about for a second, and they were definitely more excited about the 6 hours of late-night shenanigans on Saturday: VT Police.
Yes, the students of Virginia Tech thought it was exciting to riot downtown/the Drillfield/Lane Stadium, but VT Police were much more excited to take a break from shutting down sub-par, geed-infested Pheasant Run parties to oversee these activities. Blocking of the street downtown not only gave them the student’s seal of approval, but also allowed them to participate in the chaos. One officer, whose name I don’t have memorized yet since he’s only pulled me over once, explained, “Helping Johnny down from dangling on the streetlamp was the closest to crowd surfing I’ll ever get and damn, it felt good. If there’s a next time, I might just let y’all crazy fools hang there for the fun of it. This shit was crazy!” He followed up a few moments later, adding, “I’ll bring my car and block off Roanoke St. every day if it means I don’t have to carry students who fell asleep in the Pritchard lounge back to their rooms.”
The VT Police are currently looking for ways to encourage such reckless behavior that keeps them entertained, yet is not so reckless that they have to fill out any paperwork. Cars were destroyed, debris is covering the Village like snow, and the College Ave. stoplight is crooked, but they’re pretty sure those are all someone else’s problem.
In related news, the Blacksburg Fire department is excited to report 29 retweets and 21 favorites on their tweet:
9/7/14 12:58am – couch fire at 500 block of Center Street
— Blacksburg Fire (@blacksburgfire) September 7, 2014
They are also anxiously anticipating the next Virginia Tech win, and expecting to be verified on Twitter by mid-October if students keep up these behaviors.
Unfortunately, it’s predicted that both of these organizations will be let down come this Saturday. East Carolina shows both strong offensive and defensive strategies, and it’s unlikely that the Hokies will be able to penetrate their 75 year away-game winning streak.