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VT Student Accidentally Breathes in Torg Bridge

If there is one place on campus that is guaranteed to be quiet enough to hear your boredom, it’s Torg Bridge. For those who can’t focus unless they’re away from all noises around them, it’s heaven on earth. But for those who find its quiet nature stressful, like freshman student David Macado, it’s a complete and utter nightmare.

“I’d previously been unaware of the severity of Torg Bridge, just hearing about it here and there from students claiming it was like nowhere else on campus,” Macado told us. “I was excited and determined to finish this homework in a focused environment.”

He had been told that Torg was quiet, but didn’t realize the extent of it all.

“I felt glaring eyes following me from the moment I walked through the front doors into Torg. It was as if every footstep I took was too loud for those cramming for exams,” said Macado.

He didn’t know what to do except awkwardly continue walking until he came across the first empty seat he could find.

“That’s when I did it, in that very instant, I made my gravest mistake— I sighed. The heavy breathing was just too much for people.”

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“Everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at him,” a fellow studier told us, “It was as if he committed a crime. I mean ya feel bad for the guy. Students began crowding him, intimidating him to leave.”

Macado then left the building immediately.

“If there’s one thing I learned,” Macado said while shaking his head, “it’s that I know never to go back there again. When they say it’s a quiet place, they mean it.”

Macado is now believed to have gone into hiding. If you see wanted posters with his face on it, you now know why. Don’t mess with the Torg Bridge students unless you want a witch hunt after you.

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