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5 Non-Sexual Things About UVa that Really Turn You On

UVa isn’t a place doesn’t shy away from sex. From the first time you hear Dean Groves’ “I have definitely had more sex than you” speech, to the last time you got busy in a Lawn room, you’re almost constantly turned on. But, it’s not always sexual things that get you all hot and bothered, here are a few non-sexual things at UVa that really turn us on.

5.) The Comm school:
That job security. That promise of a six figure pay check in the near future. That not-so-casual business casual dress code. The Comm school is porn for a typical Wahoo. After all, at a school where superiority complex is the name of the game, what better way is there to prove your alpha status than gaining admission to the (second) best business program in the country?

4.) The Jeffersonian architecture:
Never before in your life have you been surrounded by so many buildings that look exactly the same. The constant reminder of our dear, sweet TJ in every single building on Grounds sends shivers of joy down your spine. But nothing is more orgasmic than telling a lost first year that their class is “the one with the white columns and red bricks”. What other school comes with a built-in method of being an asshole?

3.) A UTS bus that’s on time:
University Transit System is notorious for fucking with us. It almost seems like the bus drivers go through special training in which they’re taught to how drive by a shivering group of students on a rainy Wednesday evening and how to wait until the most inopportune moments to take their breaks. But, every once in a while, something rarer than a female orgasm during sex will occur. A UTS bus will stop at your stop, have a seat open for you, play a Top 40 song that you haven’t heard a thousand times already, and take you where you need to go without a random 10 minute break. It’s enough to make you quiver.

2.) Getting a basketball ticket:
You trekked over to Scott Stadium for every single game in the fall to swipe in, get your Sabre points, and turn around to head back to Mad Bowl. You sat through two soccer games, and maybe a volleyball match. All your work has paid off. You got a ticket to the only sport UVa students care about *toes curl*.

1.) The Rotunda:
The pride and joy of UVa, the Rotunda is the most non-sexual sexual thing about this school (despite its phallic shape). People come from all over the world to take photos in front of that beautiful domed building, even when it’s under construction! No other structure can entice students to strip naked and run half a mile quite like it.

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