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5 UVa Fraternities You Didn’t Know Existed Because You’re Dumb LOL

Greek life is a pretty big thing at UVa, despite what your UGuide told you. Everywhere you walk you’ll see people sporting letters for Alpha Delta Gamma Beta RaRa Blah Blah Blah. While most of the fraternities on Grounds are pretty well known for one reason or another, sometimes a Greek group slips under the radar. Not anymore though! Here are five fraternities you didn’t know existed:

5.) Delta Iota Chi Kappa:
The brothers of DICK are very rarely seen wearing their letters. Instead, to spot a DICK, simply look for the guy in the very back of your easiest class. Is he wearing a blue striped polo with khakis and a backwards hat (the backwards element is key here, otherwise he’s probably just a top tier who got lost)? Is he slouching down so far in his seat that it looks like he’s about to melt into the floor beneath him? And, most importantly, is he giving every girl who walks by him a once-over, focusing mainly on her ass and boobs? Then he is a DICK brother. Don’t try to engage with him, since these boys tend to act like, well, dicks.

4.) Beta Gamma Sigma (The Comm Frat):
That’s right, the most exclusive, fratty school at UVa actually has an even more exclusive frat inside of it. That’s double the exclusivity and fraternity! In the never ending battle to seem more special than their peers, some Commies join the national honorary society (nice way of saying frat), gaining yet another bullet point on their already more-impressive-than-yours resumés.

3.) Zeta Beta Tau:
Apparently, ZBT no longer exists. The link to their website now leads to what seems to be a Japanese car blog, and their Facebook page is longggggg gone. But the question is, were they kicked off due to an inability to get new members like the totally reliable, definitely not catty Greek Rank UVa page says, or were they simply a fake frat made up to make all the other boys feel better about themselves?

2.) Phi Alpha Delta:
What do you get when you take a fraternity and remove parties, drinking, and fun and replace them with them with the law? Phi Alpha Delta! The premier frat for people who want to be miserable for a living. Hazing activities include removing your heart (you won’t need it if your gonna be a lawyer), and watching every episode of Law and Order: Trial by Jury and Suits on repeat for ‘practice.’

1.) Chi Alpha:
You see their letters and posters and brothers everywhere during the week, but when its time to start partying, Chi Alpha disappears. Rumor has it that they throw huge parties on Mondays. Also, they have an annual beach trip that is supposedly lit. Though they’re frat is hella secretive, it’s also pretty easy to join! Just walk up to the students who are constantly harassing people tabling and tell them that you want to be saved. You’ll be a pledge before you know what hit ya!

Wow, five fun frats you never heard of? Maybe you’re not as into Greek life as you thought, huh. Go eat a gyro or something.

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