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8 UVa Acapella Groups You’re Definitely Not Getting Into

UVA has more acapella groups than it knows what to do with. Sure, they’re all talented. And sure, you think you are too. But you’re not that talented, which is why you’re not getting into any of these groups, no matter how hard you try.

8.) Ektaal:
Gonna be flat out honest here, the fact that you won’t hear the same cover of a hit pop song again and again at an Ektaal concert is a huge reason why they’re on top an you’re not. Nothing you know how to sing already will be on their set list, which means you’ll actually have to learn something. Plus they have a badass Twitter cover photo, and you’re not that cool.

7.) Hullabhoos:
Because nothing says you were founded in the 80s than wacky robes! The Hullabhoos prove that you can be really popular by wearing clothes that make you look like a drunk idiot. Maybe if you send them an email about how much you love them every day, they’ll lower the prices of their CDs on their website, but still that’s as close as you’re going to get to them.

6.) Virginia Belles:
“Once a Belle, always a Belle” is both endearing and threatening. Given that they’ve been around since 1977, UVa’s oldest all-female group probably had to kick some serious ass to get to the top. Don’t let their cute name fool you, they’ll trash your car when you trash their performance.

5.) Academical Village People:
“Academical” is not a word but they might make you laugh during a performance instead of trying to seduce you..  They wear costumes, which sounds lame, but in fact makes them way cooler than you are. Which is why they won’t accept you, even if you do sing like Celine Dion.

4.) Hoos In Treble:
On their UVa Arts page, they’re described as a group that “just happens to be an acapella group”  which is just a clever way of saying “we’re just another acapella group.” The rest of their page was too longto read, and honestly if reading is involved you’re just not gonna make the cut here. 

3.) Virginia Sil’hooettes:
Oh god, there are more? Okay, well, the Sil’hooettes have a nice name. They also write all of their own music too, which is cool because these Taylor Swift covers are getting old. But you’re really fucking kidding yourself if you think for one second you think you can write acapella music.

2.) Flying Virginians:
Because UVA needed another acapella group. This time, the Vs perform covers of your favorite #indierock hits, like everyone’s favorite hipster, Bruce Springsteen. You’re never going to be as cool as Bruce, or these Vs. 2.) Harmonious Hoos:
It’s not that the Harmonious Hoos don’t try, it’s just that they’re victims of saturation.They’re new but don’t think that means they’ll accept your pathetic ass.

1.) Virginia Gentlemen:
They started all of this nonsense back in ’53 when some bozo went, “Hey! Let’s start an acapella group!” Now we have more than we know what to do with. Cool blazers, my dudes, that will look absolutely awful on you.  Which is exactly why they won’t accept you.

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