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The Corner Crawl, as Told by Smells

 

When you think of a progressive on the Corner, you probably think of sweet mixed drinks and tequila shots, but have you realized the development of smells that goes along with it? Well we certainly have, and we would like to point out some of most pungent of them. The Corner has its redeeming qualities, such as a quaint boutique with a cage of colorful birds and an attempt at diversity with multiple ethnic cuisines, but the strange combination of odors is something we could certainly live without. Walk with us, won’t you?

 

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Imagine the start of your stroll at the top of the hill, near Bank of America. So far, your nostrils are free from anything remotely out of the ordinary. You begin the descent down the Corner and you immediately get hit with the overwhelming aroma of freshly-made bagels. This is something we can’t complain about, although the enticing smell of Bodo’s makes it even harder to resist going inside and splurging on a $4 pick-me-up snack.

 

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Bagel central doesn’t last long, however, because Starbucks immediately takes over with its counterfeit coffeehouse fragrance. The caffeine seduces you, but you fight the temptation because you couldn’t possibly be seen in public with Bodo’s in one hand and Starbucks in the other. You’re not basic enough for that.

 

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Continuing along on your walk, it’s smooth sailing for a while…until you hit the bars. Depending on the time and day of the week, your nose could be safe from internal burning. However, if you walk by Trinity early on a Saturday morning, you are sure to smell the remnants of someone else’s fun. Combine the puke on the side of the street with the lingering aroma of beer, and you’ve got yourself some yummy morning air.

 

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You’ve made it about halfway, so there’s no turning back now. The smell of a homeless person’s wet dog makes you cringe a bit, but you keep trudging along. There is momentary relief with the clean pharmaceutical scent of CVS. Qdoba and the irrelevant preppy store offer minimal threats as you make your way towards the end of the street.

 

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As you wait patiently to cross the street to Boylan, you brace yourself for what you know is about to come. They are always present, always full, and always putrid. The trashcans. No one knows why they are smack-dab in the middle of the sidewalk, outside the prime location for drunk pizza-eating, but they never fail to create a vortex of disgusting smells.

 

You make it past the trashcans with a fierce determination. Your nose is finally free of any strange, untimely odors. After a long, hard walk down the Corner, you give yourself a pat on the back and a squeeze of some Bath & Body Works hand sanitizer to relieve your nostrils of any remaining unwanted fragrances. Congrats, you’ve successfully survived the smell progressive of the Corner. Now, prepare yourself for that walk back, this time uphill.

 

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