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If UVa Colleges Were Snapchat Filters

 

It’s nearly Thanksgiving, a time when we set our differences aside and accept people for who they are based on a tumultuous past with natives we banished to small pieces of land. Somehow these are the morals that have sustained us. Anyway, let’s take a moment to appreciate the diversity we have here at UVa. And no, we don’t mean cultural diversity, we mean school diversity. There are enginerds, nurses, and future Jordan Belforts walking around Grounds and we think they should be celebrated like the true heroes they are, by assigning them Snapchat filters. Hey, it’s better than a smallpox blanket. Baby steps. 

 

 

A School – Frowny Filter:

In case you haven’t noticed, these guys are sad. It could be all the tedious work they’re drowning in, or maybe they got a paper cut in the studio. Either way, the stress has clearly gotten to them and they’re not that happy. Is that girl crying or is there just charcoal in her eye? Probably both.

 

 

E School – Nerdy Filter:

Duh. If there’s any school that deserves this nerdy inventor filter, it’s the E School. We almost left them out entirely because we figured they were too busy doing math homework to ever use Snapchat, but like the all-inclusive community we tell people we are we figured we’d allow them in. See the shock on her face? That’s because she just made a friend for the first time who wasn’t part robot or, at the very least, building a robot.

 

 

Curry – Bunny Filter:

They might as well get used to it now, because all these future educators will be seeing for the rest of their lives are tiny animated woodland creatures and a whole lotta boogers. It’s a bleak future, but someone will have to teach the illegitimate children of those big wigs in the Comm School. 

 

 

Batten – World-Head Filter:

These guys are going somewhere, or so they’re being told. Chances are a couple of them really will make it and become leaders somewhere in the world, but for now it seems a little bit like their heads are in the clouds. Also, we can’t help but note the similarities between the world revolving around you, and actually becoming the face of the planet. We get it, you’re a big deal.

 

 

Nursing – Heart Eyes Filter:

Ah, so much hope. Despite the tireless hours of clinicals and all the naked old bodies they’ve had to see, something just keeps pushing these people on. Perhaps it’s their love for the sick people of the world, or the fact that scrubs are just so goddamn comfy and remind us of Grey’s Anatomy. Heart eyes for you, nursing students!

 

 

Comm School – Golden Butterfly Filter:

Look at that smug face. She knows she’s going to own half the people here one day because her daddy said so, dammit. Goldman Golden butterflies are perfect for the Comm Schoolers: they’re gilded, valuable, and constantly flying around their heads like their thoughts of money. The only thing that would make this filter more perfect is if the butterflies were tiny flying pigs with big money sacks. 

 

 

The College – Puppy Basic Bitch Filter:

This one goes out to all the basic bitches in the College. You’re the eternal other guys, but a majority nonetheless. People may say the kids in the College are dreamers, but they’re not the only ones. This basic filter is so perfect for the College because we’re all extremely familiar with it, it’s adorable, and no one ever wants it to go away.

 

 

UVa Wise – Whatever This Filter Is:

We don’t know what Snapchat is going for here, but we’re gonna toss UVa Wise a bone and let em’ have it. It’s like the ugly stepchild of Snapchat filters, hence its dedication to our Highland kin. They kind of don’t count to us in the same way that we kind of wouldn’t send this snap to anyone who really mattered. But look at that grin! They’re kinda cute in their own way, we guess.

And you thought Snapchat was for sending nudes. 

If you woke up this morning surrounded by ravaged boxes of Lunchables, then this one is for you: 

 

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