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No Seriously, Tech, You Suck So Much Worse

It seems here at The Black Sheep at UVa we’ve gotten ourselves into a bit of a pickle with our dear friends at Virginia Tech. Win some, lose some. The Hokies have recently decided to bash us in an attempt to close read a perfectly valid article in which we might have casually alluded to them being wimps about snow days. To be fair, we applaud them for exhibiting such a clear practice of a literary technique that any UVa student mastered in the 9th grade. The thing about responding with a close reading, is that it doesn’t offer many original ideas, and we’re not really surprised about this.

 

In the interest of cooperation, we’re sure that the snow days that Tech got definitely didn’t inhibit their education in any way. If all the farm animals have to be inside because of snow, how are y’all going to learn? Food for thought.

 

In terms of being the “real winners” for the snow days, congratulations, you beat us at boozing and Netflix. Although, personally, we think any first year can be versed in these practices and it really isn’t that impressive, but hey, take the wins, Tech. You’ve earned it. As for us, we’re looking for wins in post-graduate job placement or GRE scores.

 

And yes, please feel free to reference how many times your team has beat our team in football. It’s not like that’s a fifteen-year-old joke or anything. If you’re really looking, this season Hokie sports teams have beat UVa in football and wrestling, while the Cavaliers have earned victories in Women’s basketball, men and women’s cross-country, men and women’s soccer, and women’s swim and dive. A little research never hurts anyone.

 

The takeaway from Tech’s article about us is that “UVa sucks.” The way we see it, a lack of research and recycling of rivalry fallbacks, while maintaining a substantial lack of creativity, doesn’t really indicate that UVa is the school that sucks. They’re right about one thing though, it is “nothing new.”

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