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The Results Are In: UVa Votes on Important Issues


The people have spoken about all things UVa and the numbers are in. Let’s take a look at some nail-biting results for these UVa candidates.  


Rotunda or Old Cabell:

Apparently, the wait was worth it. 85.9% of people enjoy the Rotunda more than its across the Lawn counterpart.


Clem 4 or Clem 1:

It was a close call, but Clem 4 came out on top this time. The Black Sheep suspects that the killer flight of stairs may have something to do with this.  


O’Hill or Newcomb:  

If it wasn’t already established, Ms. Kathy is a champ. Her warm smile and hugs make even UVa dining slightly bearable.


First Year or Fourth Year:

66.8% of people prefer to be first years. The real world will have to wait.


Reading Days or Fall Break:

Only a small majority actually uses Fall Break the way professors want us to use it. We propose a petition to change the name officially.


Rotunda Sing or Lighting of the Lawn:

In a crushing defeat, Lighting of the Lawn takes the cake. 90.2% prefer this December holiday tradition.


8 a.m. Lecture or 7 p.m. Discussion:

It was a tough race, but 7 p.m. discussion clinched the victory for this poll. Both options are pretty awful and will most likely ruin your day, so we suggest avoiding them at all costs.


Good-looking but Horrible TA or Ugly but Great TA:

In a stunning turn of events, UVa kids actually want to do well in their classes and 81.5% voted for an ugly TA.


Beating a Good Football Team or Beating a Bad Basketball Team:

A large majority want an exciting football win and getting to rush the field. Keep on dreaming, people.


UVa or Virginia Tech:

Unsurprisingly, UVa obliterated Tech. For those few assholes that actually voted for Tech, please transfer.

Wow, we really thought more of you were into hot TAs. 

If you woke up this morning surrounded by ravaged Lunchable boxes, then this one is for you:


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