Congratulations! You’ve survived midterms. The road was long and the nights were late, but here you are. Now only one question remains: what will you do for the rest of the semester? Don’t worry, The Black Sheep, is here to provide you with some suggestions of better ways to spend your time than studying.
10.) Netflix binge:
Everyone is always telling you that Netflix is too much of a distraction, but what do you have to pay attention to now? The subsequent readings/exams? NOTHING! You’ve already taken your midterm; you have nothing left to prove until finals, besides how long you can stay in bed. Go ahead and start season one of Gilmore Girls.
9.) Streak the Lawn:
Streaking is always the answer. Graduation? Streak. Stressed? Strip down and run away. Heartbroken at season finale of Gilmore Girls? You guessed it. Let loose and relieve yourself of all the stress that comes with midterms. If a cop sees you, just explain to them that streaking is actually a part of your midterm; they can’t stand in the way of your A+.
8.) Dining hall crawl:
Make your way from Newcomb to O’Hill then to Runk. Eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at each dining hall. Don’t forget dessert each time either. Winter is coming, so you can blame the extra baggage on the bulky clothing.
7.) Paint Beta Bridge:
Midterms are over! You should be so excited that you want to paint the town, literally. Go get yourself a bucket or two of paint and cover Beta Bridge in sayings like, “Aced that midterm ‘bouta week ago!” Include an ecstatic dancing student if you’re really feeling artsy, and a couple Dickbutts wouldn’t hurt either.
4.) Frat free-for-all:
Frat bros get just as excited about the end of finals, and they want to share their excitement with everyone. Even if you’re a fourth year, take advantage of the Greek’s overwhelming generosity following midterms. Grab yourself a lukewarm Keystone and reminisce on the simpler times, like before you had to study for those midterms.
3.) Bar bonanza:
If you still feel a little too good for frats even in a time of celebration, then just go to the Corner and do a bar crawl. Make sure not to skip any bar no matter how measly it may seem. You must take at least one shot at each location. Let the bartender know you’re celebrating the end of midterms and you might get them on the house. You just survived midterm week, why should you have to pay?
2.) Plan a real Fall Break:
Yeah those reading days were nice and all, but now is when you really need a break. You just put in all those extra hours studying and used up your last bit of Adderall; you need some time to recuperate. Tell your professors that you can’t come to class for the next three days because of their midterm. They’ll feel so guilty they’ll cancel class for an entire week, and everyone will fall in love with you.
1.) Just drop out:
Midterms are a struggle. You showed hard work, determination, and perseverance. You have nothing left to prove to Thomas Jefferson. Any professor would be willing to sign a letter of recommendation after you made it through midterm week. The rest of college is just for effect; you already mastered everything you need to know for the real world.
This is how you fuckin’ do it!