Here at Western, we love our Bronco athletics, particularly football. Nothing else can compare to celebrating a WMU victory after getting drunk tailgating all day and stumbling into Waldo Stadium, but what if we told you that WMU baseball games can make you feel just like that? You should be getting your ass down to the park, because at Hyames Field, there is simply much more than the game that Bronco baseball has to offer. Baseball is no longer boring at all here, there is plenty of other shit to do at the ball game.
6.) Shovel hot dogs down your throat:
Yes, hot dogs. You can find out how fast you can eat one of them or challenge your dumbass friends to see who can shove the most down their throats before the seventh inning. Put some mustard on them if you feel like it. Fuck it, throw them into the other team’s dugout. The possibilities are endless with this one.
5.) Rip your shirt off and sunbathe all day:
When baseball season rolls around, so does the warmer weather. Your ass is probably sitting in class right now. When has the last time you have been outside for fun? Next time there’s a baseball game here, go ahead and skip your 2 p.m., walk over to the field, and get some sunshine for your pale skin.
4.) You can get your drink on before you drink more:
You do it before football games, so what the hell stopping you with this one? Waldo’s Tavern is practically right across the street from the field. Feel free to pound some beers before you wobble your way into the stadium. Baseball and boozing are a match made in heaven, so go crazy!
3.) Fall in love with the players‘ asses:
All of you ladies love to drool over baseball players on Facebook and Twitter. Now you can actually go to a baseball game and stare at them in action! You probably won’t be able to grab any asses, but you can look from a distance, which is almost just as good, right?
2.) Make all kinds of noises from your seat:
Baseball games are a great way for anyone to hoot and holler without any repercussions. You can sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ball Game,” you can heckle the CMU outfielders while they are trying to make a play, and, if you really feel like it, try calling balls and strikes from the stands. You just cannot sing and shout like this in your biology class.
1.) Go streaking onto the field:
There has been a long list of people who have ran onto the field during a baseball game. You do this one for the thrill! Only go streaking if you are feeling real ballsy. Although remember, running onto the field is hilarious, until you get caught. So as long as you don’t let any kind of security catch you, see how long you can stay out there!
See? There is plenty of shit to do at the baseball games here at WMU. Don’t worry about the whole “baseball” thing.
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: