This point in the academic year is arguably the shittiest time to be in college. Spring break was a blur that came and went, and you had St. Paddy’s Day to look forward to, but now, that day is long gone. No leprechauns or even Saint Patrick himself can save you from the boredom of not having any more shit to do or look forward to for the rest of this semester. Luckily enough, there is some shit you get into the rest of this semester.
6.) Waste an entire day at The Old Goat:
A wise alcoholic once said, “You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.” See how long you can stay at one bar. Absolutely start out with beer, and maybe squeeze some vodka Red Bulls in there if you start falling asleep in your barstool. If your friends aren’t scraping you off the dirty floor, you’ve done something wrong.
5.) Try eating Two Fellas four times in one day:
Breakfast, lunch, first dinner, and second dinner. It is a mighty task indeed, but if you are drunk enough all day you just may be able to cram all those tater tots and chicken fingers in your gut. Will you hate yourself the next day? Absolutely. The glory would undeniably be worth the pain.
4.) Run around on the soccer fields during a thunderstorm:
It will make you feel so alive! Yeah, this is dangerous but that’s why it’s so fun! Maybe you will get some super powers if you get struck by lightning, or some shit. Maybe the electricity will make you smarter, and, with finals coming up soon, it’s worth a shot.
3.) Push people off their longboards and skateboards:
If you haven’t seen a kid riding a longboard take a tumble before, you are missing out. Next time one of these assholes goes to whizz by you going down the hills of the valleys, shove them into some trees, bushes, or even a small pond. Everyone loves seeing people eat dirt every now and then, and others thanking you for shoving every boarder in sight.
2.) Hold up the line in the Schneider Café:
Business students know all too well how long the line gets in this shitty little café. Step one: Take your sweet ass time trying to decide between a slice of pizza, or a cold pretzel. Step two: See how much time goes by until people begin screaming at you. Step three: Walk out without buying anything. It’s the easy way to get a good laugh at the expense of others.
1.) Spend a night at the rec center:
This one is an easy way to get into shape. Wait until the rec closes—that’s your time to make a move. Warm up on the treadmill, go skinny dipping in the pool, and then fall asleep in the sauna. The possibilities are endless here. Do whatever you want, it’s your gym for the night!
With all of these tips and tricks, you will never be a boring ass again! These especially help in a time in Kalamazoo where there is not that much shit to do for the rest of the semester.
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