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5 Ways Getting Iced Turns Boys Into Men

Just when you thought your birthday or whatever party you’re at couldn’t get any rowdier, your red-headed, general business major friend surprises you with an ice. While we may not know exactly how the origin of icing played out, we do know that it truly tests your vulnerability and makes you more of a Bronco than you were before. Here are the five ways getting iced turns boys into men. 

5.) You can look badass in front of a crowd: 
Sure, getting iced may come to you as a surprise at first, yet it is entirely up to you to grow some Bronco balls and finish that shit. In the midst of a party in Campus Court, you’ll look like a badass and having people cheer for you and take videos will only increase your badass persona. You’ll look like a legend if you can gulp it down within a few short seconds—but stand back! The amount of aroused talent will be lined up before you awaiting to be given the bucking bronco. 

4.) Your tolerance increases with every gulp: 
With the amount of shitty vodka and beer your cheap ass drinks from the Den, surely getting iced is another way of paving your way towards handling heavy loads of the expensive shit you’ll drink (IF you end up graduating from this school). Just know that every gulp you take is obviously keeping your system in check for what’s about to be dumped into your liver later on in your night at Grotto. 

3.) Your chugging talents are greatly enhanced: 
If you take longer than 10 seconds to chug an ice, first of all, why? Second, the more times you are iced the better you become as guzzling down alcoholic beverages. Standing around and holding a drink makes you look like a frickin’ Chippewa, so it’s best you chug that bastard like a true Kalamazoo Bronco. It’s a unique alcohol consumption method since it’s far different from a beer yet not as embarrassing as drinking a Mike’s Hard.  



2.) Creative thinking skills are developed: 
Whether you are taping an ice underneath a toilet seat or hiding it in one’s backpack, there are endless methods to icing someone and the creativity opportunities are endless. This allows you to use your wild imagination to innovate new ways to destroying your underage friend’s liver while simultaneously becoming more imaginative and can inspire a boisterous generation in Kalamazoo. 

1.) It’ll help you forget the bad decisions you’ll make: 
Everyone knows that every weekend at Western is a ridiculous one, but you must add to the ignorance by allowing each ice to derange your memory of the wild night more and more. This is certainly a positive thing since you don’t want to remember fighting the kind bouncer at Grotto or pissing all over the campus whale or even stealing a frat house sign. The more ice you take in, the more chances you’ll forget all about the havoc you wreaked at the good ole Wastern Michigan University! 

 Getting iced is unique, it builds friendships, it’s a form of payback, and of course it’s a quicker way to get hammered no matter where you are! Overall, nobody wins since you’re spending money to have others get trashed and those receiving ices will get schwifty but it sure as hell turns any Bronco into a man! 





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