Here we are. Welcome Week has come and gone, and syllabus week is just wrapping itself up. There are few words to describe the past two weeks at Western, but “pure debauchery” comes to mind. Some of you (if you’ve made it this far) may be sitting and thinking to yourself, “Is this real life? Can a human being really have this much fun without keeling over and dying?” The answer is yes. Whether you like it or not, over the next few months we will be keeping up our party school reputation all while attending class. What may seem like the impossible will become an all-too-vivid reality. But we’re Broncos, with tough-ass hooves, manes, and cool horse stuff, so here are some tips on how to survive one of the top underrated party schools in the nation!
Stay hydrated: Sure, this may sound like a basic rule that every human should follow, but at Western it’s serious. A normal person could drink only Mountain Dew every single day and still survive with the help of a few gastric bypass surgeries, but us Broncos need our H2O. Whether you’re walking to class on a September afternoon up the Valley 2 hill, or you’re grinding on some dime piece at a beach-themed Main Street party, you’re going to sweat your ass off. Staying hydrated is one of the many ways to make sure that you don’t end up on WMU Passouts. This little tip will help you pay attention in class on the weekdays and help you avoid puking in your sink on the weekends.
Make connections: While it may be easy to sit inside all week and binge on Netflix and Goldfish, it’s also important to meet other Broncos. Sure, it’s fun to hang out with your high school friends who go to Western, but they’ve got enough embarrassing stories to dish on you for a lifetime. When you’re out at a party, talk to people like you actually care about their life! Odds are you have something in common. Making connections is important because it can get you lots of great things. Whether it’s a job working at the Den, or it’s protection from the increasing gang violence, us Broncos know how to do our friends favors.
Cut loose: We get it, school is important! It’s why you’re here, it’s why this article exists, and it’s making us better people, but even a Bronco needs to cut loose from its reins every once in a while. Let’s say you’ve got two Friday morning classes 15 minutes apart from each other, one in Sangren and one in Brown. You deserve a beer or ten after that long haul! Sometimes, a class or two needs to be skipped and you need to attend a Television 101 lecture on your homie’s couch. An important part about going to Western is getting wrapped up in the culture of the school. Yes, we party. Yes, we go overboard 9 times out of 10. But god dammit, somebody’s gotta do it!
Life isn’t always easy residing on the west side, but if anyone knows how to do it properly it’s the WMU Broncos. While it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of school, you’ve got to keep a good hold on your reins, so take our advice wisely and hopefully you’ll live to see another semester.