Is there an echo at the bar? Because it sounds like Broncos are repeating the same damn lines every weekend. If you don’t hear, “Want to go to the Lib tonight?” every Saturday then why do you even go to Wastern? Here are seven things you’ll hear around the bar on a Saturday night at the Library…
7.) “She’s not even that cute”:
Nothing worse than seeing the person you’re trying to bang that night, talking to an uglier version of you. You’ll hear groups of girls talking shit as if they have a WMU degree in it. Get ready to saddle up and prove you’re a better one-night stand, or move the fuck on.
6.) “I just did so much coke in the bathroom”:
There is nothing like doing coke to guarantee you’ll have a great night. Problem is, if you just did a line in the bathroom, odds are you aren’t only high; you also now have AIDS, congratulations! But screw it! You only live once right? Now go CRACK a beer…
5.) “They opened my Snap but didn’t text me back”:
There are a bunch of horny Broncos lingering around the Lib on Saturdays, so when your booty call ignores you, that shit is rough. We feel your pain, damn it! But mama didn’t raise no bitch so chug your drink and find another Bronco to ride! Hey, your mom did tell you to try new things in college…
4.) “Do you want to take a shot?”:
If you don’t hear this at the bar, then you have shitty friends and you need get new ones. Everyone needs that bad influence to push that buzz into full on drunk mode. At the Lib, you can get whatever shot you want, AND IT’S CHEAP! Raise that tiny glass and pass one to the person next to you, because only drinking alone is sad.
3.) “Fuck, did I pay my bill?”:
Forgetting to pay your bill sucks, so be sure to follow the “CCC” rule: check to make sure you have your Credit Card, Cell phone, and that you paid your Check (guess it’s the four C’s). Forgetting to pay your bill is the worst kind of walk of shame because the bartenders will hate seeing your face when they open the next day.
2.) “Do you want to get food after?”:
Do Broncos fucking hate PJ Fleck? OF COURSE THE DRUNKS WANT FOOD! Don’t ask stupid questions, Becky. The best part about going out is getting laid, and a close second is getting drunk food (if not possibly a first). The options are endless now, but once Yummies opens, shit is about to get wild.
1.) “Gah La Ballhh Euuhhh Fuck Jjdalaa Daa”:
Dude, no one knows that the fuck you’re saying. Get your drunk ass home because no one likes this kind of drunk at the bar. If we wanted to see idiots we would have went to Mt. Pleasant to party. If you see this person at the bar, just start saying the same noises back to them; at least you’ll get a laugh.
Have you heard these before? Have you said them yourself? Good job, that means you’ve been out of your house before! Now head to the bar and take a shot.
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