With one of the most glorified holidays at any college campus coming so soon, it’s time for Broncos to prepare for the long-awaited search for their personal pot of gold this upcoming Saturday. Whether you find your pot of gold on St. Patty’s Day in a secret basement of endless booze or a spot on campus that is excellent for illegal activity, it’ll amplify your drunken experience for sure! Here are five locations that Broncos can locate their pot of gold on St. Patty’s Day:
5.) Your roommate’s secret weed stash:
Every start to any day of non-stop mischief begins with you waking up on the filthy floor of the frat house or dirty apartment you live in, finishing your 30 rack of Keystones, and rallying from your belligerent night at Waldo’s. Weed is often a good tool to relieve yourself from that god awful headache you got from double-fisting those two pitchers. Since your frat is probably flooded with passed out drunkards, your opportunity to search for their weed stash is now! Search through open rooms and drawers so that you can spark up your bong of gold and share with the boys to start the day off right.
4.) The secret basement in the new Grotto:
While the new location may take some time to get used to, the basement in the old location is what everyone misses the most. But why the hell isn’t there an open basement in the new Grotto?! They’ve got to be hiding something wild down there without a doubt. If you can somehow navigate your drunk ass through the crowded bar, you might get lucky and discover your pot of gold is a secret liquor lair that could change your bar experience at WMU forever.
3.) Campus Court pool:
Spring is on the fringe of taking full effect, which means the Campus Court pool has to be opening up soon before Broncos completely lose their shit. Since it’s St. Patty’s Day, Broncos have no choice but to barge right in and keep the darty going like there’s no damn tomorrow. If it’s at least 50 degrees outside, the outdoor ragefest will be nothing short of spectacular, and spending some it beside a pool potentially full of liquor is easily the way to go. Plus, everyone that lives there is quite boujee and might have a stock of liquor at the bottom of the pool for you to snag!
2.) Any PNC ATM on campus:
Your broke ass will probably be more penniless by noon than after a day at the Goat, which means your ass might have to stumble over to campus and go through some extreme measures. There are plenty of PNC ATMs around campus, and you might wanna get creative when strategizing a plan to steal an entire goddamn ATM. It’s worth a try, but you’ll need whatever the luck of the Irish might bring to your greedy ass!
1.) Every Smirnoff Ice you receive from your fellow Broncos:
If your friends don’t ice you in the most creative of ways, you might actually have to transfer to Central. Treasure every moment of getting iced because it allows you to grow more towards your alcoholic persona no matter if you’re in Bronco Club, Sig Ep, or even Sangren fricking Hall. An ice will surely be your pot of gold no matter how many times it may occur to you, and it never ceases to accomplish wonders for your Frank Gallagher-looking ass!
St. Patty’s Day will certainly be one for not only the record books, but quite possibly the WMU handbook as well!